Jess Commons | Deputy Editor | Wednesday, 8 April 2015

There\\\\\\\'s Going To Be A Human Centipede 3 And Oh My Actual F***

There's Going To Be A Human Centipede 3 And Oh My Actual F***

The Debrief: Thought the first two were bad?

Hope you've well and truly digested your breakfast kids because things are about to get weird.

The fine purveyors of film that created the gross horror game-changing flick The Human Centipede are back again and this time they've taken their twisted minds further than ever before and oh my goodness they need to be locked up.

In case you're lucky enough to be unfamiliar with quite possibly the most disturbing horror concept of all time, a human centipede is where you sew one person's mouth to another person's bumhole and then that person's mouth to yet another person's bumhole, thus creating (in theory), one long fucked up digestion tract. This is how film number one plays out. Obviously the best position to be in would definitely be the front, although even more preferable would be not being involved in the whole sorry pursuit at all.

Anyways. Film number two. Less famous (and perhaps for good reason), this one focusses on a guy called Martin who's inspired by the centipede's original creator from the first film and sets out to create a TWELVE person centipede. Things end badly when Martin (spoiler alert, in case you cared) slits the throats of his victims. Which, let's face it, is probably a blessing after having your mate shit in your mouth for hours on end.

And that brings us to film three. Film Three. Oh my. Announced yesterday, this one's going to (mercifully) be subtitled 'Final Sequence' and is about a man called Bill Boss who leads a failing prison. His solution for keeping the prisoners in check? Yep you guessed it, creating a 500 man centipede out of the prisoners. Obviously. Apparently it could save 'billions' in tax money. So, there you go. It's out on May 22nd if you want to watch it. I'm going to go and be sick now bye.

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Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

Tags: Film