The Great British Sex Survey: Are We Really All Into Watersports?!
The Debrief: We speak to noted psychotherapist Philippa Perry (wife of Grayson) about dick pics, foot fetishes, BDSM and whether we're getting kinkier as a nation.
According to a new Channel 4 documentary, one million of us like peeing, or getting peed on by, each other.
It's just one of the findings in a YouGov study of our sex lives. The documentary is headed up by psychotherapist Philippa Perry and sexologist Goedele Liekens, it takes a look at the top ten kinks we love as a nation.
We spoke to Philippa to find out just how naughty we are...
Hi Philippa! Do you think we are getting kinkier as a nation?
I think there’s always been a certain amount of kin going on. We’re quite repressed and sexual expression will find it’s way out somehow! I think repression is actually quite a good breeding ground for kinkiness. Are we more kinky than we were? I think we’re just more out about it than we were.
Something to do with the internet?
Yeah. You suddenly realise you’re no the only one who likes to be chained up to a tree and left there with the thrill of wondering whether you’re going to be discovered or not…
Gosh, that’s a niche one.
Oh no, it’s quite common actually!
I feel very vanilla.
The word vanilla is seen as an insult but actually BDSM types on the scene are really quite rule bound. So their sex might be less spontaneous than so called ‘vanilla sex’ because they plan what’s going to happen whereas people indulging in vanilla sex might just go moment by moment.
I mean that makes me feel a bit better.
I think the thing that I found most odd (when making the documentary) was that I’d go to somebody’s house in order to talk about their wildest sex lives, the complicated equipment they’d use and the orgies they’d had and I’d be putting down my cup of tea and they’d go ‘Oooh coaster!’
That, I think, I found quite suprising. I don’t think having an unusual sex life makes you less conventional in other areas of your life, which I might have expected it to!
According to the documentary, we love foot fetishes – what’s the psychology behind that one?
I thought it was to do with crawling around on the floor when you were little; like the most you see of your mother is her feet but the foot fetish sex worker I met said it’s all about the thrill of being humiliated. I mean, you can’t get lower than your feet can you? It’s like walking in shit. The most humble, humiliating thing you can do is related to another person via their feet. She said she had men ask her to get her stiletto heel and ram it up their… you know… Ouch!
It all seems to come down to humiliation – apparently we’re really into watersports (peeing on each other) too?
It’s the same thing. What is more humiliating or disgusting than being weed on?
Why do people like being humiliated?
I think in a way it’s actually quite healthy. Because it’s a boundary between being a masochist in their fantast sex life and being a masochist in real life. So if you do sexualize your masochist feelings, it’s so much the better really rather than getting into relationships that are actually bad for you.
Why do you reckon dick pics are such a thing?
An unsolicited dick pic is sexually abusing someone. It’s like pinching someone’s bum on the tube. It’s not on.
What about in relationships?
Well it’s a laugh or.. maybe it’s just because you can? Maybe it’s the frisson of danger and making yourself vulnerable. I don’t text…. I haven’t got a clue!
The Great British Sex Survey is on Channel 4, Thursday 25th February at 10PM.
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