Jess Commons | Deputy Editor | Friday, 8 July 2016

\'You Can\'t Talk About Cervixes While You\'re Carving The Turkey\' Alice Levine On Podcast My Dad Wrote A Porno

'You Can't Talk About Cervixes While You're Carving The Turkey' Alice Levine On Podcast My Dad Wrote A Porno

The Debrief: Alice Levine on the cult podcast which sees her and two mates Jamie and James reading out Belinda Blinked, the erotic novel written by Rocky Flintstone - aka Jamie's dad.

If you have yet to fall down the My Dad Wrote A Porno rabbit hole yet then may be suggest you get on it really rather swiftly.

The podcast is presented by three pals, Jamie, James and Alice (Levine of Radio 1 fame) and revolves around one simple idea; namely that Jamie's dad wrote a porno.

The porno in question is a a self-published work of erotic literature. It's called Belinda Blinked (that's the download link, you can literally own your own copy) and it's about Belinda, a high flying salesperson in the luractive and surprisingly saucy pots and pans industry. Over the course of the first book, Belinda gets bonked by several clients in the middle of a maze, plays with the (substantial) naked breasts of her co-workers in a busy pub, is purchased at an auction and becomes the sexual companion to an older lady who is a member of the nobility. It's quite a ride.

Jamie's dad for his part, goes by the pen name 'Rocky Flinstone'.

Jamie, Alice and James read out a different chapter every week and, over the course of season one, the podcast became a bit of a cult hit. It's been listened to by three million people, Elijah Wood included.

Now, they're back for a second season with Rocky's second novel, Belinda Blinked 2: The Continuing Story Of, Dripping Sex, Passion And Big Business Deals and, if the first epsiode is anything to go by, there's plenty more fun to be had. 

We caught up with Alice to ask her about the impact Belinda's had on the world, and the reaction of the pots and pans industry.

 

□□□□□□□□ to @homothrone for this beautiful artwork depicting Giselle and the McDonagh Brothers from chapter 1

A photo posted by My Dad Wrote A Porno (@mydadwrotea) on Jul 7, 2016 at 8:49am PDT


Hello Alice Levine! Now you’ve had some distance from Belinda do how do you feel about her? Do you want her to be your mate?

I think she’s really annoying. She’s got a one track mind which would be really frustrating because you’d be trying to open up to her and she’s just be thinking about doing the deal. That being said she does seem to get on with everyone so maybe I’m missing something.

Are there any characters you do feel a close affinity with?

Well I hate Bill, the head of HR, but then there’s a fine line between love and hate so I feel like me and Bill from HR might get on.

Sure.

Also the Duchess…

She’d be fun.

Well Jess, fun’s one word for it. I guess it depends on your definition of fun.

True. What are your weirder tales of how people listen to the podcast?

One woman used it as the soundtrack to her labour. I don’t know if that would help.

I mean it would probably make you regret the act that got you pregnant

True, it would take you back to the source. I guess that’s better than someone listening to it during the conception.

Have you had any bigwigs from the porn or erotic literature industry get in touch?

E.L. James hasn’t reached out as of yet.

That’s very disappointing.

Very. I mean she could be intimidated by what a success it’s been and the writer Rocky could become. I feel like it’s only a matter of time. And once we start making the film version…

You guys need a Kickstarter

Do you think we’d succeed?

I will give you all my money.

It’s funny you say that because we had Elijah Wood on on Thursday’s Footnotes (the now weekly second part to the podcasts) and he was quite insistant that he wants to play the ‘Youngish Man’ - the guy that brings Belinda the turkey sandwiches in the Horse & Jockey.

Well now that’s an interesting casting decision

He was like ‘I’d like to play him’ and we were like 'well obviously there’ll be an audition process'. At the end of the chat he was like ‘even if you do a pilot I’d really like to play him’ and we were like ‘Do you know what Elijah mate, play it cool yeah?’

This is shaping up nicely. I’ll offer you £5

Do you know what Jess, I can’t see it costing more than that.

How is Jamie’s family dynamic these days? Are things awkward between him and his dad?

The family is very much intact. Wilma, wife of Rocky, isn’t a huge fan of discussing content at length and not over a Sunday lunch. I think Rocky has tried to compartmentalize Rocky because you can’t just be talking about a cervix when you’re carving the turkey. I mean literally carving a turkey, that’s not an innuendo.

Sure, sure

Jamie says it’s quite nice because they didn’t have a ‘thing’ before like they didn’t watch sport together or talk about films and now they have a ‘thing’, it’s just unfortunate that it’s his dad’s pornography.

That’s weirdly sweet. What’s your favourite line? I like when The Duchess pulls Belinda to her by her ‘left tit’

Such a nice ring to it. I like the bit where someone’s nipples were as large and the three inch rivets that held the fateful Titanic together. I love how dark that is, entirely inappropriate.

 

A photo posted by My Dad Wrote A Porno (@mydadwrotea) on Jun 16, 2016 at 11:49pm PDT

 

What are your hopes and dreams for Belinda’s future?

I think she will thrive, we’re set to see her travelling the world a bit, I think she’s got a lot of things mentally penned in.

Good for her

As for her personal life, I’d hope she finds romance but I don’t think she’s really after that.

How have the pots and pans industry responded? Are they fully on board?

We’ve actually had a very promising out of office from Le Creuset…

Good start.

In many ways Jess, it might be an expose. They might not want to get involved because it might be too close to the truth. It could be the Wolf Of Wall Street for the pots and pans industry.

It probably is.

 

Listen to My Dad Wrote A Porno here. New epsiodes added every Monday.

Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

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The 21 Best Podcasts That Every 20-Something Girl Should Be Listening To

The 7 Best Episodes Of The Moth Podcast To Make You Feel Good

Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

Tags: Porn, Podcasts