All the best prison beauty hacks we've learnt from OITNB
The Debrief: Check these beauty hacks we’ve picked up from the inmates of Litchfield Penitentiary
HELL YES. OITNB is back on Netflix for Season 3, and if you haven't watched it yet, what are you waiting for?
I should probably start with a disclaimer: I have never been to prison nor do I intend to, so this piece contains a little 'artistic license.' And hey, if I ever do go, these tips are going to come damn-well in handy. Maybe you are actually reading this in prison (are you allowed to do that?) or maybe you're just about to go into prison and you're worrying about make-up (what am I even saying?), in which case you're welcome. Basically these tips could come in handy for a load of different situations. Oh and if you are in priso, quite a few of them will involve befriending the kitchen staff but if they're anything like Red, it'll be no bad thing to have them on side.
Morello always has lipstick game that makes us super jealous. But how do you do that without your MAC lippy close to hand? You'll have to track down a pencil case of some craft materials for this one because you need crayons (make sure they're non-toxic). Once you've got those, you'll need Vaseline and access to a microwave or hob. Soften the crayon in the microwave (or bain-marie if you've got a hob) along with the Vaseline and mix them together. Decant it into a container, let it set and you've got yourself a new bright red lipstick. Genius.
No-one wants to have to deal with unwashed hair, in the style of Pennsatucky's greasy waves (although sometimes it looks like a nice shine, from afar). But, unfortunately, there's no Batiste on hand right now. The solution? Cornstarch. Ruffle a bit into your roots and it'll absorb any grease you've got going on. If you've got dark hair, mix it with ground coffee granules or cocoa powder to avoid that talc-y, grey-haired look.
How, oh how, does Alex get those perfect flicky cat eyes every day? Well, you know those ground coffee granules we were talking about earlier? You can use them to recreate your favourite smoky eye aswell. Don't go overboard because you'll look like you face-planted a pile of dirt. Instead, start light on the inner corner of the eye and get darker as you smudge it out to the outer edge. Burnt matches are good for this tloo because you can use the charcoal as a smudgy eyeliner (check out BeautyCrush's winged eye tutorial to learn how to do it like a pro).
Prison food is probably prime breakout-material so let's deal with those pesky spots (even dewy-skinned Piper succumbs to them sometimes...). Aspirin helps calm spots because it contains acetylsalicylic acid which is similar to salicylic acid (which is found in lots of targeted spot treatments). Crush a few up using the back of a spoon, just like you wouldn't ingest a lot of once don't go overboard with how many you use for this. Then, mix it with water to make a paste which you can apply all over the face or to specific areas. If you can get your hands on any honey (it's anti-bacterial) or yoghurt (soothing) to hand, add that in and you'll have made a nourishing face mask.
So this hack's for when you need something to trade with Sophia in the salon. If you fancy a new hair 'do to mix things up giving your hair a little change, try plaiting wet hair before bed and you'll wake up to wavy, mermaid hair (sort-of). If you want tighter curls, coil sections of your hair around a bit of old fabric and keep it in overnight. And lets not forget the classic lemon juice in the hair for sun-in style highlights which work even better if you can get in the sun.
More OITNB essential gossip:
At work? With your gran?
You might want to think about the fact you're about to read something that wouldn't exactly get a PG rating