11 Pieces Of Actually Useful Life Advice From Sandy Cohen
The Debrief: What Would Sandy Cohen Do? Have a bagel. That's what.
Sandy Cohen, the patriarch of The OC, was so much more than a pair of eyebrows and a hot bod. Sandy Cohen was the Dad all other TV Dads should strive to be like. Sandy Cohen was the man to turn to when you need someone to get you out of a jam, take you home and serve you up a warm toasted bagel, no questions asked.
In fact, at university, we even had a saying; 'What would Sandy Cohen do?' Because really, over his time on The OC, he found a way through all sorts of issues; from alcoholism to illegitimate children, Sandy Cohen's got a solution to every situation.
Here's a few of our favourites...
1. Your problem: 'I don't really feel like I fit in...'
Sandy Cohen's solution: 'Oh, I got news for you. Nobody does. I guarantee you every single person feels like a fraud. They’ve all got secrets and they’re all terrified the guy next door is going to find them out.'
2. Your problem: 'I feel like my boss/dad is taking advantage of me...'
Sandy Cohen's solution: 'The man is a bottomless pit of need. You think you can fill it? You can’t. You’re amazing. If he can’t appreciate you, screw him. Quit.'
3. Your problem: 'I feel like I'm not spontaneous enough...'
Sandy Cohen's solution: 'Yes, we do need to take more chances. GPS Lady says turn left. I’m going right.'
4. Your problem: 'My boyfriend forgot about Valentine's Day...'
Sandy Cohen's solution: 'Do you know who invented Valentine’s Day? Hershey’s and Hallmark. If you’re single it’s designed to make you depressed and if you happen to be in love, start shellin’ out. Chocolate, flowers, lingerie— I hate this holiday!'
5. Your problem: 'My Dad just got Facebook'
Sandy Cohen's solution: 'Never underestimate a parent’s ability to mortify his child.'
6. Your problem: 'Both me and my friend want to schmear the bagel...'
Sandy Cohen's solution: 'We can not fight a war on multiple fronts. Have we learned nothing from the Nazis?'
7. Your problem: 'My parents canoodle together over their moo shu...'
Sandy Cohen's solution: 'Kids with affectionate parents grow up to be better adjusted sexually as adults.'
8. Your problem: 'I miss my girlfriend who died even AFTER I saved her from an overdose in Tijuana...'
Sandy Cohen's solution: 'You’re never going to get over it, but you’ll get used to it. Just let yourself feel what you need to feel, even if it hurts.'
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You might want to think about the fact you're about to read something that wouldn't exactly get a PG rating