'Remember You Are Not Alone!' Mel C Turns Agony Aunt And Sorts Out Your Life
The Debrief: We got Melanie Chisolm to answer questions on everything from how to make friends as a grown-up to dealing with an overcrowded housemate situation. Unsurprisingly, she was something of an oracle.
When it comes to who seemed like the nicest Spice Girl, for me, it's was always a toss up between Mel C and Emma Bunton. They are definitely the two that seem the most normal, the most grounded, the most likely to give you a hug if you fall down, build you up if you're feeling low.
I've never met Emma Bunton but now I can happily say I've met Mel C and holy cow is she just the nicest person that ever did walk the planet. I would highly recommend meeting her. Ten out of ten on excellent human-being-ness.
Mel C is knocking around because she's got a new album coming out! She's not doing the Spice Girls GEM thing which is fine by us because a Spice Girls line up minus any of the girls is a travesty and also, Mel C tends to make great solo music. Remember Northern Star? Remember Baby When You're Gone ft. Bryan Adams? Mel C is a talented lady. And her new album Version Of Me is just as fun.
Seeing as we managed to pester poor Melanie C's PR into letting us hang out with her for fifteen minutes (thank you Millie) we thought we'd better use that time wisely. And use it wisely we did. We decided to help all of you out by asking Mel C the sort of questions you guys usually ask us. Because Mel C is much wiser than us.
So here, without further ado, is Mel C as your agony aunt.
Hi Mel C. So say you've got a best friend who's been your friend for a really long time, and then all of a sudden she starts hanging out with another girl and you're seeing her less and less, how do you deal with that?
Oh gosh, that is a tough one isn't it...? Well I think you have to remain strong and have faith that if you've been such good friends for such a long time she'll come back to the fold. I would try and get included, don't feel too left out.
What would you do if you went on a date with a person and they showed up and they looked nothing like their picture. Would you let them know or would you let them get away with it?
I am so pleased I'm not single because the thought of going on dates is just the scariest thing in the world. I would probably keep my mouth shut because they might be a really cool person and, you know even if he's not up to scratch as he was in his Tinder profile, once you get to know him there might be an inner beauty that comes out. Give him a chance!
That's very nice of you Mel C. What's a good way to make friends as an adult? I think a lot of girls are feeling super duper lonely.
Yeah well obviously I'm really into my sport so I think if you have any interests that help. Like I love to do triathlon, and there's a local club here, the Hampstead Triathlon Club. Because you have a shared interest it kind of opens up a whole new social group for you. So whether it's sport or movies or book clubs, look for something that really interests you. Obviously, you're going to be friendly and warm to someone more who has similar interests to you. I've got another one, this is brilliant! Okay so people with dogs, it often brings up
Oh! And I've got another one, this is brilliant! Okay so people with dogs, it often brings up conversation when other dog owners or people come and check on your cute dog. But if you haven't got a dog, don't worry! There's this app where you can borrow dogs! And I think that's great. That's even why a good way of dating. I think this should be a new thing. Let's create a new app where you can borrow a dog and it's like a Tinder dating app. Yeah! Doggy Dating! Sounds a bit weird but I think that could be quite good.
How do you deal with being happy for your friends but at the same time feeling good about yourself and the path you're one?
What I would say with my wisdom of 42 years is things don't always appear as they are on the surface. And I think especially the age we're in with social media. We all post our perfect lives on Facebook and Instagram when in reality everybody has problems and issues and you never really know what's going on in people's lives. So I think of course it's important to support your friends but it's more important to support yourself. My new mantra as I'm getting older, I'm getting much better at this, is really doing what I want to do. Because I think in my youth I often did things to make other people happy and sometimes to the detriment of my own happiness. If I'm compromising myself for other people that's of no use to anybody. And I think that if I could tell my younger self that, I think my life would have been a lot more fun.
What would you do if your best friend started dating a terrible person?
This is a really tricky one, it's really difficult. I think with friends in that situation it's always important to really be there for them and hope that they are gonna come to that conclusion too. If it gets to the point where the person they're dating is really being a shit and treating them badly then I think as a friend you have to speak up. But you know, you get yourself into that awkward scenario where people split up and then you go 'I'm glad you got rid of him, I never liked him anyway'. Then they get back together! I mean you have to look out for your mates but you've got to look out for yourself as well. Don't get yourself in a tricky situation.
How do you deal with getting some quiet time when you're surrounded by people all the time?
Yes that is hard and I can find that now in my life. There's lots of kids in the house and it's always a bit chaotic! For me, going back to it, when you do things for yourself whether it be going to the movies, you know take an afternoon out to watch a film you've been dying to see. Or go for a jog in the park, go for a walk. I love going to the gym and for me that's very much my time. Try to structure things into your life so you can do them in peaceful solitude.
How do you fight off imposter syndrome?
In my career I've met so people, so many artists, from the MDs of record labels to the editors of magazines and I truly believe everyone feels they're gonna get found out at some point. Because I think everybody has that self-doubt and doesn't trust they really know what they're doing. So you have to remember you are not alone. I remember when I had my little girl and I was walking down the street pushing the pram, and thinking 'everybody knows I don't know what I'm doing, I don't even know how to push a pram properly'. And of course no one thinks that because everyone's too busy thinking about their own issues and problems. So it's just to remember you are not alone, we're in it together!
What's the best way to deal if you know you're going to see your ex?
Go looking fabulous! Without a doubt. Personally, for me, you have to look amazing and pretend you're super confident. And don't drink too much and start crying. That is the key one.
Do you have a go-to hangover cure?
I'm really naughty, I'm hair of the dog. Something really tasty and quite naughty to eat. Whether it's a full English or bacon butty. It might actually be a roast dinner by the time you're able to eat food. I always find that after a shandy or pint of Guinness, I'm always well again.
Melanie C - Version of Me is out now on Red Girl Records. Get it here.
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Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons
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