Glastonbury 2016 Line-Up: Got Tickets? Here's Who You're Going To See
The Debrief: And for the rest of you: here's who you're going to see at Glastonbury 2016 from the safety of your couch.
If you managed to nab tickets to (let's face it) the biggest and bestest festival on the planet then WELL DONE YOU. I am super proud of you. And also super jealous. Enjoy Glastonbury. But don't come crying to me when you wake up in a tent with some boy called Rupert who is wearing nothing but a straw trilby hat and pair of Kanye shutter shade sunglasses to cover his teeny tiny willy.
For the rest of you, you'll still watch the whole thing, you'll just do it from the comfort of your own living room. Which, let's face it, has pros and it has cons. For instance... Pro: there is a clean loo less than fifteen seconds walk away and a fridge stocked with cold white wine. Con: you're watching 200,000 people have the time of their bloody lives and you're sat in your living room.
Either way, Glastonbury is great. The line-up's not finalised yet but here's what we know so far. Stage times to come closer to the date....
Is Rihanna going to be at Glastonbury?
Almost certainly not. Sorry.
Glastonbury 2016 line up
Jeff Lynne's ELO
Earth, Wind & Fire
The Last Shadow Puppets
The Syrian National Orchestra
Bring Me The Horizon
Years & Years
Explosions In The Sky
Bat For Lashes
Two Door Cinema Club
Of Monsters And Men
Unknown Mortal Orchestra
Band Of Horses
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You might want to think about the fact you're about to read something that wouldn't exactly get a PG rating