How To Do All Of Your Christmas Shopping in One Day
The Debrief: Left it all to the last minute again? Here's your cut-out-and-keep guide on how to do it all in one afternoon
Congratulations, you’ve bloody gone and done it again haven’t you? Somewhere, inbetween the Christmas dinners, the Christmas drinks and the more Christmas drinks, you totally forgot to buy any Christmas presents for your nearest and dearest and now you’re left with just one day to purchase everything.
If you’re going to get out of this shopping day from hell unscathed, you’re going to have to dampen your expectations, plan ahead and generally be completely ruthless. It is do-able, but you’re going to need to be strict with yourself.
Here's how to do it.
This is crucial. Heading into town without a list of people you need to buy for and a vague idea of what their presents should be is how disasters like last year happen - when you forgot to get Aunty Sally anything and she cried and asked you why you can’t be more like your sister.
Carefully check and double check that you’ve got the right amount of names on your list – run past Mum if necessary. Then, work out a gift idea for each person. Write down the names of the shops that’ll sell it.
Something like this: Aunty Sally – lavender oil to help chill her the fuck out – House Of Fraser.
Divide and Conquer
If your home town shopping area is of a fair size, you’re going to waste half your day running backwards and forwards between Boots at one end and Debenhams at the other. Split your gift buying into two camps; that to be done in the north end (or east) of town and that to be done in the south (or west). If you’re really anal, draw a map of your route from Fat Face to WHSmith to Accessorize to Gap.
Although if you were really anal, we probably wouldn’t find ourselves in this situation now would we?
Don’t get hung up
The time to get the ‘perfect’ present for someone has passed. You’ve got about as much chance of nailing Dad’s best ever present in the time you’ve left yourself than Donald Trump does of convincing us he’s not one of those aliens off The Simpsons in disguise.
You’re now aiming for a ‘good’ level of present which means that, rather than trying to be totally unique, stick to standard dad gifts; DVDs, socks, books by comedians you don’t find funny… It’s time to accept defeat and do what you can in the time you’ve got left.
Don’t get distracted
Christmas in town at this time of year is likely to be full of people you know from that fit boy in the year above you at school who looked like the lead singer of Sum 41 (now a successful banker living in Clapham, who knew?), to your mum’s friend Carol who can talk for Britain.
Avoid these people at all costs, you don’t have time to get sucked into a conversation about Carol’s nephew Tom who’s just emigrated to Australia with his wife Sarah, nor do you have time to go for a ‘quick drink’ with banker boy. Keep your eyes on the ground, refuse to catch anyone’s eyes and stay focussed on the pressing task at hand.
Not being disowned by your family is your reward. Which is OK I guess.
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At work? With your gran?
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