Girls Episode Ten: Adam's Sister Is Giving Birth, And Ray Tells Desi To Respect Marnie's Self Worth
The Debrief: Plus, exciting news for Shoshanna and, has Jessa finally sorted herself out?
Illustrations by Nina Cosford
And it looks like we might have made it kids. We're down to the last episode of this series. Gah. And Hannah is not starting things off in a good way. In fact, she’s having a panic attack. Luckily, hunky Fran is on hand to save the day/tell her about the student that just crushed a hamster’s brains in her pocket. Which seems like it might not be overly helpful information to someone currently experiencing shortness of breath.
Shoshanna is in job interview number 4563 and actually, for once, seems to be nailing it. In fact, she gets offered a job! Erm, wait hang on, it’s in Tokyo. FYI, this sort of stuff never happens in real life. Anyways she’s got like, a day to figure it all out because the girl that’s got the job ATM is bipolar and the company need to act fast and fire her the next time she’s on a ‘manic upswing’.
Over at Adam's sister Caroline's place, Caroline’s giving birth in the bath surrounded by candles. Also she’s wailing like stuck pig which sort of dampens the new-age, feel-good vibes somewhat. Turns out though, neither Caroline or her ex-junkie boyfriend Laird are qualified in the art of childbirth so Hannah worries this whole thing might be a little erm, illegal.
Marnie and Desi are showing off about their wedding again (although Desi’s also muttering something about marriage being an antiquated concept. Dick. Sadly, Ray’s also in earshot and he looks more devastated than a One Direction fan who’s just been told Louis and Harry won’t ever get together. Ray takes advantage of an opportune alone moment with Desi and tells him that he fucking hates him, his eyeliner, his musical sensibility and his distressed denim shirt. Most of all though, he hates the fact that he doesn’t deserve Marnie. Way to keep those feelings under wraps Ray.
Shoshanna and the Soup Start-Up guy are having lunch when Shoshanna tells him about her job in Japan. Being a supportive sort of dude who understands the unemployment hell Shoshanna’s being going through over the last few months he asks, nay TELLS, her not to go on account of the fact that he’s going to be in love with her. Soon. Because if there's ever a reason to give up your dream job in another country it's because of a promise of love that's coming 'soon'.
Back at the home birth, Adam’s arrived and he’s not best pleased with the whole Caroline giving birth in the bath with no qualified professionals around to help thing. In fact he’s shouting ‘MODERN FUCKING MEDICINE’ pretty loudly. There’s a very good chance this won’t end well. Jessa also joins and is fascinated by the gore-factor and asking Adam if he checked out his sister’s ‘pussy’. In the midst of all this Laird announces that something is wrong. Adam is vilified and furious in equal measure. Jessa breaks into the bathroom, gets down on her hands and knees and takes a peek underwater to find a foot poking out of Caroline’s vagina. The baby is breach. Adam faints and Caroline is shrieking about some conspiracy called the 'birth industrial complex'. Jessa does the first useful thing she’s done all season and takes control of the situation. Which is good because the whole home birth thing is definitely no longer a beautiful miracle of life laregely due to the fact that Caroline is calling Hannah a ‘baby murdering cunt monster’. The gang decide to carry Caroline down to the hospital.
Marnie is about to go on stage at a really important gig that's got lots of important bloggers in the audience but after Ray’s outburst earlier Desi’s gone AWOL. Marnie’s record label boss thinks Desi might have died and, just as the label boss is truly about to lose his shit over Desi's whereabouts, Ray arrives to save the day and convinces Marnie to go out on stage by herself. And do you know what? She fucking nails it. Take that Desi you big old wankstain.
Over at the hospital, Caroline’s given birth to a little girl, and they've named her (deep breath) Jessa-Hannah Bluebell Poem Schlesinger Sackler and, for the first time again all season, Jessa seems actually happy. And that’s nice to see. In fact she decides to become a therapist.
In the incubator ward, Adam and Hannah finally get some time alone together as they visit Adam's new little niece. For the second time this episode something happens that never happens IRL; Adam asks for Hannah to come back, claims he made a massive mistake and says how much he misses her. Hannah though, after all she's been through, turns him down. And everything we ever knew about love dies in front of our face.
Oh wait! There's a six months later thingy. It's snowy, there's a couple walking, we can't see their faces yet... Who are they? Oh! It's Hannah and Fran. And they're happy. Hooray.
Until next time guys.
Like this? Then you might also be interested in:
Girls Episode Nine: Hannah's Got A Gay Dad, Adam's Relationship Goes Bad And Ray Mourns What He Never Really Had
Girls Episode Eight: Hannah's Mum Gets A Shock And Shoshanna Drops An Ill Advised 'Cock'
Girls Episode Seven: Mimi Rose Is Weirdly Great, And Hannah Does A Pre-Date Masturbate
Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons
Illustrations by Nina Cosford
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