We Tested Out 7 Vegan Easter Eggs To See Which Ones Were The Least Crap
The Debrief: No milk, no eggs, what's a girl to do on Easter?
Last October I discovered I was allergic to milk which, regardless of any 'Oh babe, I once gave up milk for a week and felt no difference so you'll be fine' comments you may have, it was fucking shit.
And still is. It means no cheese and chocolate, and that means that Christmas and Easter are the saddest times of the year for me now. Until I discovered milk-free chocolate, that is.
Yes, if you're milk- free or vegan, you can still eat your way to a junk food coma this Easter - you'll just be doing it with an alternative easter egg.
But which ones taste good and which ones taste like crap? I taste-tested all of the best on the market right now, so you don't have to.
1. Divine luxury 70% dark chocolate egg
This egg genuinely is divine, and comes with cute little mini eggs that are equally divine. I keep saying divine because that's the brand name and it makes me feel like I'm doing something clever. Anyway, this egg is rich, and made with good quality dark chocolate that's not too bitter, but not too sickly. You can eat loads of it (I did). It's also packaged like a proper Easter egg rather than a lot of the milk free products that look like Medicinal Eggs For Weird People; it's wrapped in gold foil and is crackable just like those eggs you used to eat before you realised they make you vomit for 12 hours.
10/10 if you like dark chocolate.
2. Holland and Barrett's Good Egg
My personal favourite milk chocolate substitute - this is made with cocoa solids, sugar and rice powder (wtf) but really does taste like milk chocolate. Sure, fairly cheap milk chocolate and the packaging definitely looks like a Medicinal Egg For Weird People but what the hell more do you want? It's nice enough that I'm sat here eating it while writing this article, and there's no creepy aftertaste so hooray!
8/10 if you like milk chocolate (penalised for bad packaging, lack of fun extras like mini eggs, and cheapness to the chocolate - but still really great)
3. Choices caramel flavoured milk chocolate alternative egg"/>
Ah. Oh dear. Now. This egg is another milk chocolate alternative that is supposed to taste of caramel but, unfortunately, tastes so rank I could only manage two mouthfuls. One to test it and the second to make sure it really was that bad. Leaving you with an incredibly chemical-y aftertaste, and with an oily, slick texture that doesn't feel like any chocolate I've ever eaten, this is probably best left well alone. Special mention should go, though, to the caramel chocolates that come with the egg because they are absolutely spectacular. I mean, that shit tastes good. So all in all, a real confuser.
4/10 - the egg tastes outstandingly awful, but the caramels are 10/10. Might buy this egg purely for the caramels.
4. Choices white chocolate egg
See above, but multiply the chemical aftertaste by roughly nine billion. I won't say any more because they've done their best, and who am I to be a dick about it, but these are not good tasting eggs.
5. Chococo dark chocolate button egg
This is delicious. Another dark chocolate egg, in cute packaging, that tastes like a really expensive luxurious treat. Also, there are tiny little dark chocolate droplets inside which makes it more fun and feel like Jesus really has risen. Bit small, which was the only criticism I'd have. When I want to eat an Easter egg, I want to go to town rather than have a moderately sized snack.
10/10 - lovely, rich, tasty and non-bitter dark chocolate for the dark chocolate fans. Great little chocolate drops inside.
6. Celtic chocolate egg
Tastes like a huge after eight mint, which is really excellent because I love after eight mints. If you don't, then you might have a problem with it. Comes with equally delicious individually wrapped mints too, just to really hit it home for fans of minty freshness. Quite sugary, but beautifully packaged and reminiscent of Christmas (this may be because I only have after eight mints at Christmas) which is nothing if not a positive.
10/10 - perfect if you like minty chocolate. Probably not if you don't.
7. Moo free original organic egg
A milk chocolate alternative, this is damn tasty and very similar to the Holland and Barrett Good Egg (see above) in quality. As in, it tastes like you're eating milk chocolate. One thing - the moo version is slightly less creamy in texture, but I still saved it and then ate it all yesterday. And it's cute packaging, but like a lot of these eggs, could do with some fun extras. Little eggs, some caramels, something a bit more creative to go with the egg. But yeah, if you're craving milk chocolate and you can't eat it, this is a damn good solution.
7/10 - great milk chocolate alternative, penalised for being slightly less creamy but still a really excellent choice for vegans.
The conclusion? Go for the Chococo if dark chocolate's your thing, either the moo free or the Holland and Barrett egg if you're after some milk chocolate, and Celtic if you're into mint. Choices need to up their game.
Happy Vegan Easter!
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