Thirsty? Have A Bottle Of Vagina Beer.
The Debrief: Sippin' on an ice cold woman. Basically.
Making food-stuff from vaginal substances isn’t an entirely new concept – last year blogger Zoe Stavri made sourdough bread with the yeast from her own vagina during a bout of thrush. You could say it’s resourceful.
Now, a company by the name of The Order of Yoni ('yoni' is Sanskrit – the primary lanaguage of Hinduism – and literally translates to 'vagina' or 'womb') wants to harness the power of our vaginal bacteria and make beer out of it. They think it's such a good idea that they've launched an Indiegogo fundraising campaign to raise £150,000 although, at the time of writing, they'd only reached £193, so right now they seem to be the only ones ito it.
‘Using h-tech microbiology,’ they explain, ‘we isolate, examine and prepare lactic acid bacteria from vagina of a unique woman’. Right now, Czech model Alexandra Brendlova’s lactic acid is the main ingredient. Apparently Alexandra is the 'kind of a female whose pheromones will stay with you after the meeting for the following week long’ and she had to ‘undergo a very strict selection process’.
In their FAQs the company were asked, ‘Do you check the model’s past?’ and answered ‘I know what you mean. Yes, every model in the beer project has to sign the contract with high penalty for working in adult industry, sex industry, as adult actress, escort, prostitute, etc., etc., etc.’ Because WHO KNOWS what kind of detrimental impact that could have on the beer.
When asked if they thought it was disrespectful to women they said no and that ‘The Order believes the beer is a tribute to our mothers and a tribute to the act of childbirth. It is far, far from disrespect for a woman.’
A slight contradiction to their fundraising page which sells the beer in with: ‘Imagine a woman of your dreams, your object of desire. Her charm, her sensuality, her passion… Try her taste, feel her smell, hear her voice… Now free your fantasies and imagine that with a magic wand you can close it in one bottle of beer.’ Who said romance is dead?
In the ultimate shout to masculinity, The Order Of Yoni are attempting to make beer and women one. Who wants female conversation or company, when you can just taste her via your alcoholic beverage, am I right guys?
As a side note, the science behind the concept just got taken down on Facebook by a man called Derek who used to work in a bacteriology lab and basically tore apart their claim of a ‘distinctive taste’ of a woman’s vagina, by proving that they’ll literally just be using ‘bog-standard lactobacillus’. In other words: it’s a total marketing ploy and could well be an early April Fools.
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