Sausages Crossed With Jam Donuts, And Other Gross Food News This Week
The Debrief: That hotdog crust is now debuting in America. There's jam in a sausage. What's going on?
This week has been pretty excellent/gross in terms of new food inventions, so we thought we’d do a quick round-up of the stuff you need to know about. Just in case you fancied trying, say, a dausage. Or a pizza with a hot dog crust. Because who doesn’t want to have a heart attack during their evening meal?
At least cronuts taste good. But the worst sounding invention we’ve heard about in a while involves a sausage being crossed with a donut. Yep, that’s a sausage with jam in it. Thanks Liam Bennett, branding expert from Wales. Thanks a lot.
The dausage came out of a year of Liam experimenting with donuts, after being inspired by the cronut trend (that’s a croissant mixed with a donut, by the way) and, of all the foods he could have picked, sausages felt like the best option.
He told WalesOnline: ‘I began with pork with strawberry and cumberland with raspberry, and, contrary to many other people’s expectations, they worked really well together.’
Oh, it did, did it? Sorry, we couldn’t hear you through all the crying.
Amid the aforementioned crying, though, Liam is slowly setting about dominating the world with his invention – major retailers are apparently interested, and he’s experimenting with a range of different flavours. Just normal stuff like pork and beef with custard, venison with strawberry custard and a vegetarian dausage filed with Primula cheese. Ooh, sounds excellent.
Pizza Hut’s Hot Dog Crust
One thing we can definitely get on board with – at the protestations of our digestive systems – is the new Pizza Hut crust. If you thought waking up after a 3am stuffed crust was painful, then how about a crust created entirely out of hot dogs wrapped in pizza dough? It's like a second meal, in another meal.
And the best news is they’re going to provide mustard for dipping purposes, because obviously this sort of madness requires a whole different level of condiment. After trial-running this in the UK back in 2012, it’s now debuting in America, presumably in a bid to see how popular it is. And how many people keel over.
Fingers crossed they bring it back over here, though. Because it’s always nice to have the option of 28 mini-hotdogs baked into your pizza, right?
Gross Stuff In Your Food
The last of the weird food news is less a gross combination, more a gross amount of stuff you can find in your food. The latest food news story doing the rounds is the American FDA handbook which dictates the acceptable levels of disgusting shit finding its way into peoples’ mouths.
Canned tomatoes are allowed to contain, for example, up to 10 fly eggs. Half a cup of frozen spinach is allowed to house 50 tiny bugs. If you’re into prunes, then 5% of them can be insect-filled, mouldy, or unfit for eating. Peanut butter can contain 30 insect parts per three and a half tablespoons (roughly).
While this is the American FDA we’re talking about, it’s a pointed reminder of our own acceptable defect levels, because it’s pretty much the same: over here, we allow around 60 insect fragments per 100 grams of chocolate.
Enjoy your lunch everyone. *Vom*
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