'My Clean-Living Guide To Getting Beach Body Ready' By Deliciously Stella
The Debrief: Yo peeps! It's Deliciously Stella here, and this is my exclusive guide to looking shit hot on the beach this summer...
Going to the beach this summer? Worrying about looking beach gorgeous on Instagram? Fear not. If you follow my quick-fix tips you’ll be able to get the glow and let the good times roll without having to eat clean or even break a sweat.
Go on holiday
Make sure that the name of your holiday destination isn’t preceded by the word ‘retreat’. If it is, it will likely be an insufferable yoga event and you will be expected to try and do the crab against the backdrop of the ocean when all you really want is to eat a solero.
Switch up your routine
You’ve probably seen lots of people on social media doing headstands on the beach but being that smug takes practice, so I suggest that instead, you take a picture of yourself lying on a sun lounger then turn it upside down. No one will know the difference and you won’t have to try and eat the rest of your solero upside down.
Make an actually glowing smoothie
Want to look like you’re ‘eating clean’ without drinking something that tastes like bin juice? Put a refreshing, green slush puppy in a plastic cup and everyone will think it’s a kale smoothie – result!
Another great tip is to always drink out of a coconut and mumble about ‘electrolytes’. You’ll look so healthy and tropical and no one needs to know that it’s actually a pina colada! You can even use a cocktail umbrella!
Remember, life is a buffet
Drink now, think later! Someone once told me that it’s impossible to put on weight when you’re grieving, revising or hungover so use this as an excuse to be drunk 70% of the time. I once ate 40 triangular sandwiches at a wake and I swear the next day I’d lost 10lbs.
Keep fit at your desk by eating! The great thing about eating at your desk is that you keep moving your hand to your mouth, which works out your arm muscles. I love snacking, so this is a great way for me to keep fit.
Vary your diet
If in doubt, add Haribo. I don’t know about you guys, but I love Haribo. There are so many different varieties, so it’s a great way to get some range into your diet. My favourites are the cherries as part of a berry bowl or the fried eggs on avocado on toast. YUM.
Super foods are super!
Everyone’s been talking about superfoods and I agree that some foods are so delicious that they’re super. I find that traditional superfoods are expensive and not always delicious, so instead of bee pollen I like to eat mini crunchie bites and instead of goji berries I love millions. Also, if you don’t spend 20 quid in Wholefoods, you can stock up on wine instead!
Selfies can boost your selfie-esteem!
Feeling the pressure to take that all-important bikini shot but not feeling body positive yet? Fear not. An artfully placed accessory can hide a multitude of sins and make you look #fab in the process. I suggest strapping fab ice lollies to your stomach to give the impression of abs. So delicious and so much cheaper than a gym membership!
Gain, don’t cut
Stay safe. Choose pasta. I tried to use a spiraliser once to spiralise a Mars bar into my deep fat fryer and spiralised my finger when I was washing it up. You only live once, so don’t risk bleeding out just for a delicious snack.
See what works for you
There is nothing better than a bread-basket. A lot of people have been claiming that gluten is bad for you recently, but I went on a diet once where I only ate garlic bread for two weeks and my before and after photos looked exactly the same.
Think about the full package
My final and most important tip for getting beach body ready is to make sure you’ve got a big enough cool box. There’s nothing worse than lying down to soak up some rays and realising you left the Kettle chips and beers back at the hotel. Happy holidays people!
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