Mimi Davies | Contributing Writer | Thursday, 22 September 2016


9 Things That Should Never Have Been Given The Pumpkin Spice Treatment

The Debrief: Stop pumpkin spicing everything already!

So supermarkets have definitely clocked on to the fact that Pumpkin Spice Latte is a thing. Not just a thing, but a worldwide Starbucks staple come autumn. 

Over 200 million Pumpkin Spice Lattes have been sold over the last 11 years, and in its most recent seasons have generated at least $80 million in revenue. So what's the secret ingredient of this addictive cinnamon-y, Auntie-May's-wacky-front-room-orange hot drink? 

It's heroin. Just kidding. But we're pretty sure it's sugar. A grande (that's medium-sized to non-Starbucks goers, if you even exist) PSL has 50g of sugar in, equal to 12.5g sugar cubes. A PSL Frappuccino has 75g of sugar, which is 18.75 cubes of sugar! Considering women are only supposed to consume 30g of sugar a day, you might as well share one with a friend, or chuck half down the drain, or just treat yourself. 

But if this not-so-sweet news has shocked you, here's a little rehab for your Pumpkin Spice habit. We've compiled some of the most disgusting ideas supermarkets have come up with to jump on the PSL bandwagon. If this won't put you off PSL's, sorry but nothing will. 

1. Spam. Seriously.

Photo: Press

Please excuse me, I need to swallow my vomit. 

2. Oreos

Photo: Press

This is like the news they're making a new Jumanji film. Why tamper with a classic? 

3. Butter

Photo: Press

We can't imagine what this would taste like, it only stretches to knowing that it won't taste good. 

4. Sausages

Photo: Press

Is it breakfast? Is it dessert? We don't care and frankly, we feel a bit sick now. 

5. Vodka

Photo: Press

What would you mix this with? Coke? Don't be disgusting. 

6. Ramen

Photo: Press

Maybe if the cupboards were completely empty... because the word had ended - we'd eat it. 

7. Tampons

Photo: Press

I'm sorry, but whether it's chilli or cinammon, nothing with 'spice' in the title is going anywhere downstairs. 

8. Toothpaste

Photo: Press

According to this dental site, apparently pumpkin is (kind of) good for your teeth. But really, you can't be so obsessed with pumpkin spice that you need long-lasting pumpkin-ness every morning and night, surely? Plus, orange teeth. 

9. Laxatives (Disclaimer: This isn't real)

Though now we sort of wish it was. Wouldn't you try having pumpkin spiced poos if someone paid you a fiver? No? Anyone?

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Tags: Food, WTF News