The Best Felt Tip Eyeliners (Read Before You Spend Your Cash)
The Debrief: Don't spend money on a felt tip eyeliner until you've seen it on an ACTUAL EYE.
Remember when liquid eyeliners were the only way to get a good, clean cat's eye? And by that I mean a clean eyeliner line, rather than cleanly collecting an actual cat's eye (you knew this, it didn't need an explanation, I'm sorry). Anyway, thankfully you now no longer have to dip a brush into a paint pot and wobble your hand in the vague direction of your eye, because felt tip liners are a thing now and they're here to make you look like someone who can do their makeup adequately. If you're not Monet, then felt tip liners are your eye saviour. But not until you've seen which ones work and which ones are merely wolves (shit eyeliners) in sheep's (good eyeliners) clothing (clothing).
Just for you, and in a bid to finally nab that Pulitzer, I have tested out the best felt tip liners on the high street on my actual, real life eyes. If you can see through the tears of emotion streaming down your face, then you'll be able to figure out which one is worth your cash and which one is a load of gash. Rhyming.
Was it any good? It looked like a pipe, which immediately gave it roughly 40 points, but on the down side it went all over my hands when I opened it and the odd shape didn't really add much. You can just see the board meeting, people tearing their hair out trying to think of a way to make this different, and then some intern saying 'Erm... maybe it should be shaped like a Victorian smoking pipe?' and an explosion of relief. Crying. Hugging. Potentially boning.
Of course, then, a cloaked figure in the background slowly leans forwards into a sharp shaft of light and rasps: 'But is it... worth it?' but nobody hears him because they're too busy with the crying and hugging. Sadly, it isn't worth it. If anything, it was harder to apply and I screwed it up more than with a normal pen-shaped liner. They should have listened to cloaked figure.
Was it any good? This wipes the floor with all the other eyeliners I've tried, and I got bought a liquid liner worth £25 once because I'm an idiot. Genuinely, though, this is the sort of eyeliner you expect all eyeliners to be, only to discover the brush seems to be made of one eyelash and the liquid is the tears of a raven. Which doesn't give a classic cat's eye, yeah?
If you like black eyeliner, then buy this one immediately and you can guarantee yourself an extreme 24 hours (see what I did there? If you didn't, look at the name of the eyeliner. God)
Was it any good? Look, I get why you want to put cool angled tips on your eyeliner. It feels like it'd help create flicks, and you can fool yourself that you're a graphic designer creating your own eye. Or perhaps you're a monk in the Dark Ages doing calligraphy. Thing is, it isn't as easy as a normal felt tip and it requires a tiny bit of extra skill that people like me don't have because I'm neither a graphic designer nor a monk (I do have nice handwriting though). Also, it scratched my eye a bit and smells quite strongly of marker pen. In fact I think I might be a bit high from the miasma of ink fumes. I mean, I just used to word 'miasma' so I'll probably have to go lie down for a bit.
Was it any good? Yeah man, this is a decent, no nonsense eyeliner that will sort you right out if you're the sort of person who is sorted out by eyeliner. Goes on easily, nice and soft, and I only fucked it up once which is exciting (for me). It also looks posh in your makeup bag which is a big plus, even if the nib is a tiny bit thin for my liking. If Collection (see above) and L'Oreal went head to head, though, I think Collection would just about take it on the size of the nib. Oo-er.
Was it any good? If this was a human it'd be Creepy Thin Man in Charlie's Angels because it's a bit too thin to be trusted, and sort of sickly. As in, the pigment isn't strong. In saying this, it's still a solid liner and if I hadn't just fallen in love with Collection (see above) which has overshadowed pretty much everything, I might be more in love with it. But I've seen the future, and it's £1 cheaper. Scandaleyes goes on easily, doesn't scratch, and you can really easily mop up any mis-steps - which is a bonus.
Summary: Collection. Go and buy Collection Extreme 24 Hour felt tip liner right now. Go or I'll start a fight with you. Yep, I get pretty cantankerous when it comes to telling people to go and buy eyeliner .
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