Six Second Hacks: Transfer Tattoos Put To The Ultimate Test
The Debrief: We showered them. We rubbed them. We inadvertently made a weird arm porn video. Some passed, some didn't.
Fancy a gold tattoo but don't want to get one for life because they'll look shit and weird in a few years? Go for a transfer. But make sure it's a transfer that can withstand a rainstorm and some chaffing, otherwise you'll be walking around with half a tat feeling humiliated. Because faded, hole-y transfers look awful.
The lovely Alex Richards and I put Claire's Accessories, River Island, New Look, Urban Outfitters, Orelia (from asos) and Accessorize tats to the test - by taking a shower and inadvertently creating the weirdest arm porn video you've seen in a long time. Or ever. Don't google 'arm porn'.
But firstly, here's how to apply a transfer for those who are so hungover they don't understand you need to take the plastic film off (hello!):
How to put a transfer on:
As you can see, this Claire's one isn't great, and we had to pat it down a lot so it looked authentic. The others all worked fine, though, and once it had been fully patted there were no further issues except for the fact that it's slightly lame, but not as lame as having one of those emo stars from 2005.
And now to the good bit: the arm porn. Not only did we find out which transfer tat could withstand water and chaffing, we also discovered that if you vine arms bobbing about without including shot of hands, they look like strange characters from a kids film.
Strange Bobbing Arm Things:
Strange characters from a kids film who then shower together. Sorry everyone. We got in the shower to see where the tats would wash away in the mists of time (and water) but don't get excited. There are boundaries at work, and I think the line must be drawn at showering with each other while filming it.
The water test
Good news! Every transfer tattoo passed the water test - even the ones that were dodgy during application ended up totally unfazed.
But now, the real test. Which ones would survive the weird porny arm rubbing? Basically, Alex had to rub my arm while I vined because you can't rub your own arm and then hold a smartphone. I don't know if you've ever had a nice girl rub your arm while you film it before, but it both feels and looks incredibly weird - which is why, if you put the sound on this vine, you can hear us snorting and honking like a pair of car horns. In retrospect, she could have vined it and I could have rubbed my own arm. I'm so embarrassed. And considering Alex is technically on work experience, probably breaking some sort of law.
The rubbing test (aka Arm Porn)
Sadly, River Island fell first with the stars showing wear and tear almost immediately. New Look basically divebombed off my arm, and then proceeded to peel all my arm hairs off with it (I have hairy arms and I'm proud). Accessorize needed a bit more a kneading, but started to look a bit ropey after Alex worked her terrifying magic, but Urban Outfitters, Orelia (from asos) and Claire's stayed strong. Urban Outfitters and Orelia stayed on even when we'd stopped the test and just wanted to get the bastards off because some of us are going to an awards ceremony tomorrow and want the option of pushing up their sleeves.
Here's what our arms looked like after scrubbing, using wipes, and desperately trying to get them off:
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At work? With your gran?
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