Jess Commons | Deputy Editor | Thursday, 27 August 2015

Why Sexy Matching Underwear Is Total Bull****

Why Sexy Matching Underwear Is Total Bull****

The Debrief: There's plenty of fancy stuff in life we've got time for - here's why fancy underwear isn't one of them...

There's some over-fancy stuff in life that we've totally got time for; gourmet meatballs for instance. Matching underwear though? No way. Nobody needs to bother with that. Here's why.

It takes the fun out of life

If you're not putting your underwear on in a half-eyed open sleep daze then you're doing mornings all wrong. Get thee back to bed for half an hour of more unsolicited snoozing and go about forgetting what underwear you're actually wearing. Which brings us to the What Pants Am I Wearing game? See, if you don't wear matching pants and bra sets then even if you can look down your top at your desk and see pink and lacy, that's no guarantee that your pants aren't A) your boyfriend's boxers B) your days of the week M&S pants from school or C) that sassy little red thong with white fur trimmings that you've peeled from a joke Mrs. Santa costume in desparation. Either way, finding out when you go to the loo will be a rollercoaster of emotions.

It's one less thing to worry about

We're women. We worry about EVERYTHING. In fact, just this very morning, I worried that my meagre holiday tan might have been washed away by my post holiday tears (wine and turbulence on the plane were involved). Why the hell then would you want to introduce another thing to worry about into your life? Matching underwear poses a whole host of problems; have I washed the bra that goes with those pants? Will my boob fall out of the the too-small bra that goes with the just rightly-sized pants? Can the bra that's in the wash be dried with my hairdryer in time for me to leave the house? Just.... leave it. It's not worth it.

There's better things to spend your money on

Because let's face it, you're not exactly rolling in the stuff and spending cash on something that no-one's going to see except maybe that boy you met on Happn, drank six wines with and went home to bonk in near-total darkness. And good luck getting him to recall whether you were even wearing underwear or not. Instead, just buy the pants (you always need those) and spend the money for the bra on the six wines that gave you the courage to go home and bonk your new equally inebriated love friend.

It's eco friendly

Because you don't need to wash bras really do you? Unless you've got an overactive boob sweat on or you're a fan of fake tan, bras can go days, nay weeks without being washed meaning you need a hell of a lot less of them. Buying a bra to match every pair of pants is just greedy. Not buying matching underwear basically makes you the Mother Theresa of labour conservation.

Because you're better than that

YOU ARE GREAT and, unlike those photos of poor women Photoshopped to within an inch of their life for ad campaigns, you don't need lace and satin to make you sexy. You've got a personality, a sass-tastic ass and a and pair of boobs you know what to do with and there's no amount of matchy matchy lingerie that's going to stop you doing your thing.

Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

Fashion Mistakes We've All Made On First Dates

Calling Bullshit On Having A Capsule Wardrobe

Underwear For You, Not Him

Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

Picture: Jake Kenny

Tags: Fashion So-Called Rules, List LOLS