Thighbrows Are The New Thing You Need To Be Worried About
The Debrief: Do you have a thighbrow? If not, why the hell not?!
Honestly, it’s difficult to keep up. There was the thigh gap, then whether your mons pubis looks fat, the collarbone challenge and now all the cool people want a perfect crease at the top of their thighs when wearing high-rise swimsuits.
It’s baffling that this is taking social media by storm but, erm, it is and so here’s our comprehensive guide to thighbrows – so named because they form a shape that looks like an eyebrow. As modelled by Khloe Kardashian and Kylie Jenner below:
Right, so here’s everything you need to know about this deeply exciting, really necessary trend sweeping the nation’s legs.
What is it?
A crease on your leg that appears when you’re wearing a swimming costume.
Isn’t it a body-positive good thing?
It’s good in the sense that we aren’t saying ‘starve yourself until there’s a gap between your thighs’, but it’s not good in the sense that we’re, yet again, holding up an ideal and provoking loads of people to feel automatically inadequate because they’re not meeting that demand.
Whether that demand is thin, curvy, fat, tall, short, clear-skinned, covered in freckles, it’s not fun to want what you can’t have, and not healthy to be told what to want in order for you to start feeling bad about not having it. Rant over.
How can you get one?
If your legs are made like this, and you have the right amount of body fat (not too much, not too little) then it should happen. Are we done yet?
I can’t get one!
Oh, you’re bothered about it? Stop being bothered about it and focus on something more useful, like flossing.
Will people hate me because I don’t have a thighbrow?
Yeah, they’ll probably put you in jail for 40 years.
I have an eyebrow, does that count?
Shave it off and put it on your thigh. Boom. A makeshift thighbrow.
Why are you so annoyed about thighbrows?
I hate puns and artificial portmanteaus, mainly.
There. Hope that helps. Now let’s go on into the world and forget anyone ever mentioned what a fucking thighbrow is because if you have one, fine, and if you don’t have one, fine. Nobody’s going to hire you for a thighbrow and I’m fully aware of the irony of writing an article about something only to tell everyone to shut up about it but could we all shut up about it? Great.
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