Stupid Fashion Shit We Do As Soon As The Sun Comes Out
The Debrief: How not to be a summer dick, the fashion edition.
Find our inner world traveller
Be it through the medium of fisherman pants, a sarong-style maxi skirt, stacked bangles or flip flops in the city, there’s something about summer that takes everyone right back to gap year territory. Which, let’s face it, was not a good look on anyone except Sienna Miller during that summer she convinced us all to wear foot-wide leather tooled belts with coins on.
Because we live in the UK, it’s pretty much guaranteed that, apart from one three day mid-week period somewhere around mid-August, the weather will fail to stay comfortably over 25 degrees meaning that those array of hot pants you bought will be useful only during the five days you’ve booked in Spain. Good call on buying three pairs.
Adopt white as your spirit colour
‘Why haven’t I been wearing more white?’ You’ll ask yourself one hot summer day when a beautiful blonde girl with a flowing white dress walks past you looking like a summer angel. The answer is threefold; white cotton dresses will make you look like a child, white jeans will make you look like a lady of the night and white jumpers will last five minutes before you spill a big glob of ketchup down the front.
Go too far too soon
You know what happened to the little girl that went too far too soon? She died. It’s a lesson we still need to learn; sun doesn’t necessarily equals warmth so its probably best to check the old temperature before heading outside in hot pants and a bandeau top. Not only will you be cold, you’ll probably look a little bit silly.
Purchase novelty items
A t-shirt with a shiny pineapple on it? Check. Novelty sunglasses with flamingos on? Nailed it. How about a pair of glittery jelly shoes that’ll look good only when your seven year old niece steals them and waddles about while everyone goes ‘Awwww’? Got them too. Sun makes you want to go bright. Just make sure it’s not too bright.
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Picture: Eylul Aslan
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