Six Things You Only Know About Shopping When You Have An Afro
The Debrief: One word - Polonecks
Having an afro is great, honestly. I love the way it bounces when I walk – I can embody Chaka Khan at the post office, it gives me that extra bit of sass.
However, it’s not Beyonce everyday – I need a series of well-thought-out strategies to preserve the shape and volume that I’ve spent AGES perfecting each morning.
Because the fact is, clothes just aren’t afro-friendly, and necklines in particular. You name it, I’ve tried it. And I’m not going to walk around wearing off-the-shoulder knits all the time, just because they fit the easiest; what if I fancy wearing a poloneck? It’s nearly Autumn after all, so it’s time to transition my wardrobe and warm up my neck. But herein lies the problem because I actually. Can’t. Fit. Anything. Over. My. Hair.
If you know, you know. But if you don’t, here are six things that just don’t go with the fro…
Suede is everywhere. Suede shirts, suede skirts, suede dresses. And as much as I love the endless swathes of suede rolling in to the shops at the moment, there’s no stretch – and I end up leaving embarrassing tell-tale fingerprints all over the necklace, trying to convince myself it’ll cooperate. Next.
I love a good black knitted poloneck – it makes me feel like a beatnik that just wants to write poetry and chain-smoke (chain-vape) moodily out of the window of my Parisian apartment. However, in reality, I’m in Topshop changing room #36, I’ve just about got a pair of cropped kick flares over my bum (DJM), and now I have to pry open this teeny tiny neckhole just to give my hair a chance. I think I have to break up with them for good.
3. American Apparel
Has anyone noticed that American Apparel’s clothes have shrunk substantially in the past year or so? It’s like shopping in Baby Gap. My most recent purchase, the choker top, actually made me consider doing a V For Vendetta. What can I say – I’m a martyr to my mane.
It’s nearly Christmas which means staff parties, house parties… it’s definitely glitzy season. Sequins, however, end up one of three ways: 1) in my eye; 2) tearing out all my baby hair; 3) scattered throughout my hair until NYE. Just not worth it, even if I do get to be a glitter babe for one sparkly night.
5. The crew neck tee
This is the one thing on everyones ‘essentials’ list: the basic white crew neck tee. A staple. Not for me, love; if there isn’t some sort of button up situation, I can’t deal with it. Nope. Sorry.
All in all, although shopping is a long and arduous journey (AW15 trends, I’m looking at you), it’ll all be worth it in the end. Even if I have to snip my way into a high neck – I can always proclaim it ‘punk vintage’, and call it a day.
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