Six Second Hacks: Face Masks You Can Make From Stuff In Your Mum's Fridge
The Debrief: Or your dad's fridge. Or your gran's fridge. Anyone's fridge. But does putting food on your face actually work?
There are so many recipes for homemade face masks, but which ones actually work and which ones just feel like you've put some food on your face and then taken some food off your face?
It's pretty much the perfect time to be investigating this, considering loads of us are sitting around our parents house having drunk loads of weird alcohol we'd never usually touch (Chambord?) and eaten roughly five tonnes of salt. Basically, we need a facial pamper and not everyone can a) get to a spa or b) afford a spa - so why not raid the fridge instead?
Well, the main reason is that most homemade face masks drip all over the place and feel about as luxurious as a mashed banana on your face. Which is why I haven't included banana in the below, because it just oozes off and all over your clothes and in your hair and dries and you have to get a hairdresser to cut it out (this happened in 2005). To find the perfect pampering face mask, I searched high and low in the Tesco down the road and put loads of stuff in my face so you don't have to.
Surprisingly, egg yolk is amazing. And no, I don't have a blender because I'm not Martha Stewart or remotely adept in the kitchen - so here's the cheapo's method for making squashed food face masks (i.e. use a fork and mash it up loads).
You'll need: 1/4 cup of water, 1/2 cup of porridge oats (the proper oaty ones, not Ready Brek) and two tbsps of non-set honey.
Keep it on for 10-15 minutes
What it's supposed to do: Make your skin glow like FIRE (or just glow)
What worked? It tasted nice when it oozed into my mouth. And when it dripped on my lap and I ate it off my lap.
What didn't work? I tried three times to get the correct consistency, but it stayed all liquidy. In the end, I abandoned the recipe and poured shitloads of oats in but that still didn't work so then figured that it was meant to be like that and dribbled it on my face. It felt like I'd been operating on an alien in a government base and then the alien was sick on me. But tasted nicer.
Does it feel luxurious? No.
What did your face feel like? I'm glad you asked, Stevie. It felt totally fine, quite soft and refreshed but that could be due to the fact I splashed water on myself to get it off.
You'll need: Half and avocado and yoghurt (you can use soured cream for a mexican kick, or anything else containing lactic acid)
Keep it on for 15 minutes
What it's supposed to do: make you look younger
What worked? It felt so cooling and soothing and thick and squashy on my skin. And was really easy to apply, and also looked hilarious (if not exactly that much younger)
What didn't work? The avocado fell off in large chunks, so maybe it's a good idea to buy a blender? Either way, this admittedly just felt like I'd covered my face in avocado.
Did it feel luxurious? At first, yes. Then it felt a bit too avocadoey to be anything other than avocado.
What did you face feel like afterwards? And when I washed it off, nothing had happened. My skin felt totally unchanged. Disappointing.
You'll need: An egg yolk, some yoghurt, 1/4 of an avocado
Keep on until it dries on your skin
What it's supposed to do: Moisturise, baby (which I needed after the last two - I've got quite sensitive skin and it was, at this point, politely trying to ask me what the fuck I was doing)
What worked? Oh guys this is the best one. Put it on thinly to avoid avocado chunks, make sure your whole face is covered, and it dries like a proper facemask. When I washed it off, it came off easily and my skin felt excellent - apparently egg white is good for oily skin, and egg yolk good for dryer skin (mine) so brush up on your egg yolk separating skills yeah? I'm the best at it. Did it on my first go.
What didn't work? It smelled of egg.
You'll need: Green tea bags, half a lemon, a pinch of turmeric
Keep it on for ten minutes
What it's supposed to do: detoxify, bigstyle
What worked? I like green tea so I had a sip of it.
What didn't work? I had to remove it after less than five seconds because my whole face was stinging. Probably don't do this if you have sensitive skin - or do a quick patch test beforehand, as lemon is quite acidic. I didn't do this and my face still hurts nearly 12 hours later. :-(.
In summary, egg yolk is amazing (definitely give that mask a go), putting food on your face feels just feels like putting food on your face, and buy a blender if you don't already have one. Because I think blenders are probably the difference between chunky avocado falling off your nose onto the sofa and a smooth, profesh looking face mask that stays put.
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