We Tried On All The Big Boob-Friendly Party Dresses On ASOS So You Don't Have To
The Debrief: Because Mary-Kate and Ashley should be feeling themselves on the countdown too
That's it, guys – Christmas is done and dusted for yet another year… but while you're stuck at home spending more quality time with your mum/dad/siblings/granny/in-laws/cousins/batty aunt than you can mentally deal with, you've got one very important outfit to be planning for. Because as we all know, after every very merry Christmas, comes an even merrier New Year's Eve.
And what better way to end a pretty shitty year (a buh-bye now, 2016) than with a whole load of boobs? Yup, me and my 30Gs have searched high and low on ASOS on behalf of all the busty babes out there to find the perfect party frocks to bring in 201,7 because we all know dressing those bad boys isn't always easy. N.B. I deliberately wore my new earrings with every outfit to prove that they are, in fact, the best things ever.
The In Da Club One
Repeat after me: 'Velvet, velvet, velvet'. Sure, it might make you retch when you touch it the wrong way, but as soon as you get it over your head you'll feel fancy as hell. This cowl-neck mini is no exception. The spaghetti straps and asymmetric hem are a 90s DREAM, but of course, for those of us blessed with a chest, numbers like this could never be an option without some sort of boob wizardry. Enter the life-changing Bye Bra Beast Lift Tape... You can thank me later.
The Gok Wan Is Sometimes Right One
Normally, I'd say screw sticking to your typical big-boob shapes (y'know, your wrap dresses and 50s circle skirts), but this little gem is just too cute. The plunging neckline perfectly shows off your puppies without saying 'HELLO BOYS', while the tie flatters your waist and basically makes you feel like a velvet princess.
The One Your Dad Would Approve Of
Contrary to popular belief, just because you've got a cracking pair doesn't always mean you want to get them out. High necklines can work with gigantic melons too, you know! And if so, on NYE this floral silk midi is everything you've ever wanted and more. We're talking the perfect length, cut and fabric – plus it has a half buttoned/half open back so there's plenty of room for those breastesses. Winning.
The Pass The Prosecco One
Saying that, we also like to get them out sometimes, so sue us. And this lace-trimmed midi Warehouse slip is hot AF. In fact, the minute you slink into it you'll feel like you should be spending your NYE alongside Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet in that scene right at the end of The Holiday. Add a dash of red lippy in an attempt to divert people's attention, but let's be honest, we all know where they'll be looking.
The Sorry-Not-Sorry One
Big-boobed brethren, it's time to ignore your inner Trinny and Susannah and opt for something high-necked, long-sleeved AND frilly, because why the hell not? Sure a few ruffles might make your boobs look fuller, but that is no bad thing, amiright? Plus, all that extra detail will look super cute when you're shaking it off to Bieber all night long. No? Just me then.
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