How To Wear Your Sunglasses Like A Pro
The Debrief: If Jackie O can do it, so can we!
Sunglasses. Oh, so cool when done well – chic, effortless, relaxed. You’re Karl Lagerfield, Audrey Hepburn, Johnny Depp and Jackie O all rolled into one. They’re practically magic too – hiding dark circles, smudgy mascara or a face that was in a rush running out of the house so forgot to put on mascara.
My mum often refers to ‘sunglasses beautiful’ – which is definitely a thing. When a woman has good highlights, a nice shirt and a huge pair of sunglasses and drives a car like she’s James Bond, so she instantly looks hot no matter how technically imperfect her face. It’s the sister look of being ‘a full on Monet’.
But they can also look bad. If one is too attached to them as an obvious prop-up to be cool, they can go a bit Kanye West. A bit dad at the beach. To wear sunglasses with ease, there are certain unsaid rules one must observe.
When do you take them off?
Like the never-ending dilemma of the fedora in the office, one never knows when is the appropriate time to remove sunglasses. I think, in the summer, past 7.30, they shouldn’t be on your face. I think you can wear them into the entrance of the office – the walk to your desk, enjoying the sense of enigma that you leave in your wake – but the minute you’re sitting they must, MUST be removed. Same goes for fedoras and trilbys.
There is, however, one exception to the above rule and that is if you’re wearing prescription lenses. Sick of putting my sunglasses over my specs, like a nerdy cartoon character, I dug deep for my first pair of prescription sunglasses this summer (and may I say, they have changed my life).
Taking both prescription glasses out and prescription sunglasses out is cumbersome, so on a sunny day I now just plump for the latter. But, if the night goes on which it so often does in July when pumped full of Aperol Spritz, the sunglasses are the only portal into seeing the world clearly. So this often means having to put them on inside a heaving bar to spot your friends.
Then and only then are you allowed to wear sunglasses both at night time and indoors.
Where do you put them?
On the head makes you look a bit Chelsea mum on the school run nipping to the Lycee to pick up little Pierre. But then dangling off the shirt is a little – I don’t know – James Hewitt on a yacht.
I think the lesser of two evils is wearing the sunglasses on the head – but not for longer than half an hour – it must only be a temporary state. Least of all because they stretch when you do this. I thought this was just urban folklore but my last gorgeous pair snapped for this very reason.
Anyone who has proverbially ‘gone to Specsavers’ can spot their glasses covers from a mile off. Bin any of these depressing purple leather cases immediately.
The little fabric ones are gorgeous but useless as ultimately there will be a time in your life when you’re five roses down and three sheets to the wind and your arse comes into contact with the case. RIP Linda Farrows.
The only thing for it is a hard case for your sunnies – and if they don’t come with one because you bought them from Camden market – I have a little trick for you. Go onto Ebay and write in your favourite designer then ‘glasses case’. YOU’VE STRUCK GOLD. Tom Ford, Chanel, Gucci – all for about £20.
So no matter how cheap and horrid your sunglasses, they’ll instantly look elegant when you slip them in and out of their case. If you haven’t found the one you like yet, you will if you keep searching as they come up all the time. This is the place I once bought a giant cardboard Rod Stewart for a party – there’s something for everyone on Ebay.
To lift or push?
You’re sitting with a friend by Lake Como/the pool/outside a pub on a dingy thoroughfare, having a natter, when you see something or someone that you want to look at closer. Do you lift your sunglasses to observe or do you push them down your nose to peer over?
The answer is, of course, you push them down your nose, gaze over the top of them, raise an eyebrow, push them back up then take another sip of your icy martini/magners.
Congratulations, girl. You’ve nailed sunglasses.
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