'Hands-Free Tinder' Swipes Left Or Right Based On Your Heart Rate
The Debrief: It now takes more effort to pick your nose than to use Tinder. Sorry, that's pretty gross.
I'll forgive you for thinking that 'Hands-Free Tinder' was the result of a gross man with one of those tiny plait ponytails figuring out how to Tinder-swipe with his dick. Because call me crass, but that's exactly what I thought of the first time I heard about it.
But what it actually is, is the result of T3 using the Apple Watch's heart-rate monitor technology, and linking it to Tinder to allow users to swipe left or right using just their heart-rate. The idea is that if the user's heart rate increases, they must fancy them so it will swipe right, if it stays the same or decreases, off to the left they go. To sum up, it's the ultimate way for a lazy person to 'find love', literally without having to lift a finger.
There's a few things wrong with this system, IMO. For a start, your heart rate could increase for a number of reasons, only one of them being because you've suddenly got an insatiable lust for the person your watch has just presented you with. Seeing a family member, for example, would make it increase in a 'WTF IS THIS' kind of way. An ex making an appearance is going to piss you off too, especially when they swore they only used it for a 'laugh'. That weirdo you swiftly unmatched with as soon as he started posting Tinder 'moments' (seriously, who does that?) showing up again. All of these pose very real situations in which your heart rate might increase (i.e. disgust, anger, fear), none of which are because I want these people in my pants. Secondly, it's just bloody lazy. You're already being presented with a plethora of potential matches, does it really take much to lift your finger and swipe? That is a hypothetical question, of course, because the answer is a big fat 'no'. Picking your nose takes more effort than hands-free Tinder.
So because I'm not the laziest person to have ever lived, although I'm up there, and I simply can't trust my heart-rate that much, you can keep your hands-free idea (the fact I don't own an Apple Watch is neither here nor there) and I'll laboriously continue swiping left or right. After all, someone's got to keep tradition alive.
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At work? With your gran?
You might want to think about the fact you're about to read something that wouldn't exactly get a PG rating