7 Fashion Things That Are Meant To Be Effortless But Definitely Aren't
The Debrief: There's nothing effortless about no make up make up
This London Fashion Week there was barely a heel to be seen. Instead, everyone from the models to the fashion editors on the FROW to the cutting edge bloggers had their feet firmly planted on the ground either in a pair of trainers, sandals or brogues. Proof, if any more was needed, that high maintenance fashion is off the table.
Or is it? Because every time we try and do elegant normcore it ends up just looking well, like we couldn't be arsed. Here's the 'effortless' fashion stuff we're strugging to make FASHION.
1. A Messy Bun
Because you'll manage do it once accidentally then spend the rest of your life trying to recreate that one magical updo that's gone down in folklore as the most perfect messy bun of all time ever. Most of the time you'll pile your hair on your head, pull a few strands out, cover the whole thing in hairspray, pin a few loose bits 'artfully' in place and VOILA, you've managed to create a heavily structured version of a 90's American prom hairdo. Nice work.
2. A Bob
Messy, unstraightened and totally natural. Or so we thought until we went to the hairdresser clutching a picture of Sienna Miller with a spring in our step and a prayer in our heart. Now, a few months down the line, it's become clear that bobs are reserved for those kind of people that have enough money to go to one of those fancy salons that gives you a glass of complimentary champagne as well as a Very Good Haircut and have the kind of hair that doesn't go KABOOM in the rain.
BECAUSE THERE'S SO MANY. Stan Smiths or Gazelles? Roshes or Old Skools? It's a tough old choice out there. And, once you've bought them, good luck trying to find the one pair of small-but-not-too-small socks you own that you can wear with them without looking silly.
4. Tucking a shirt in
A classic Oxford shirt and a pair of jeans? The classic 'laid back' look. If you can figure out how to tuck your shirt in. Too much and it bunches up inside the jeans giving you what we like to call in the professional world a 'gunt'. Too little and you've got yourself an overhang. Make sure you get the tuck in right first time though because if not you've got a crumpled shirt that's going to need an iron before you can go again.
5. Boyfriend Jeans
Sure, once you've GOT yourself a pair they're effortless. All you have to do it pull them on and off you jolly well go. Unfortunately, that doesn't include the rigarmole of trying to buy yourself the a pair that look like you found them on a boyfriend's floor while still taking into account that you've got a pair of lady hips on you.
6. No make up make up
'Just a smidge of tinted moisturiser and a dash of mascara'. Pull the other one love. That's what I'd wear if I wanted to look like I'd scrubbed my face with steel wool and been on a three day bender. If I wanted to look like I wasn't wearing make-up but had a flawless complexion then I'd spend half an hour slathering on lashings of concealer, heavy foundation and swap out that black mascara for brown.
7. Oversized things
Roomy sweatshirts, oversized shirts, baggy cropped trousers.... The artful pyjama-y look all looks so nice on that teeny tiny little girl with the angular features and the pixie cut. On you though? It's like you've gained three stone and wrapped yourself in your king size duvet. Not ideal.
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