Stevie Martin | Staff Writer | Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Fashion Mistakes It's OK To Make

Fashion Mistakes It\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s OK To Make

The Debrief: Because you can't look like Taylor Swift all the time. Give yourself a break, mate.

Pretty much every morning, I say 'fuck it' about four times. Most of them are to do with what I'm wearing, why it's unacceptable, and how I'm just not a proper woman like those people you see in Grazia. Thing is, it's easy to look like a proper woman when you're on a photo shoot, or you've employed a stylist to make you look like a proper woman. It's not easy when you've been up all night trying to get work done, oversleep and have roughly ten minutes to both shower and dress before leaving the house. Or when you're having one of those days where everything in your wardrobe looks totally wrong, and you can't work out how you ever managed to get dressed with this array of mis-matched, holey pieces of shit. Yeah alright, this might just be me, but I know for a fact that we can't all look excellent every day without making a few clangers. And we need to stop beating ourselves up over these clangers, and start accepting them for what they are: a sign that you have a life beyond what material you decide to put on your body. 

Yes, fashion is expression of the self. And yes, sometimes the self you need to express is 'I can't be arsed with fashion'. 

Scuffed shoes 

This is my big one. No matter how nice my outfit is, my shoe will probably have a scratch mark on it, or a scuff, or a bit of ketchup (this happened once) because it's a shoe. And I walk around in it. There are people in this world who have perfect shoes all day, every day, and I don't understand how this happens - especially in cities -  unless they have an employee who gives them piggybacks. Even if you don't walk everywhere, and you take a car, you still have to walk from the car to your place of employment... how do you not scuff them? And what about when you're out all night? What are you doing? Standing in the corner of the club in a small mesh cage? When fashion stops you being able to dance around like a mad person, then you need to reconsider your priorities. 

Too many bags 

Me and my friends all have jobs and side projects and we walk around with two bags minimum. Alright, exaggeration, because I always have two: one for my possessions, and one for my mac plus some overnight things in case I decide to go back to my boyfriend's house (I never know because I don't believe in forward planning/organisation). The other day, I met one of my friends and she had six bags. All ranging from handbag size to tiny bag size. She looked like Buckaroo. When I see someone walking around with one bag, I want to knock them out for a moment so I can see what's in them, then bring them to and quiz them about their life habits and how they manage to go day-to-day with one bag. But where do you carry your 15 inch mac? Oh you went to an actual shop and bought one, rather than refusing to spend that amount of money and so now using work ones that weigh roughly 4 metric tonnes. How come you don't have shampoo, conditioner, face wash, toothbrushes, towels, trainers and gym kit with you? Oh, you probably have a gym at home. Or a car boot. I hate you. 

Laddered tights

If you work it, they're cool. I've got to the stage now where, if someone says 'Stevie, you've got a hole in your tights' someone will usually respond 'Oh, that's her look'. But not in a derogatory way. At least, I don't think so. Maybe I should do some market research, but I'm of the opinion that if you wear a pair of laddered tights with confidence, nobody will second guess you. 

Clothes not matching your makeup

I read about this a lot when I got into makeup a few years ago and followed it religiously; it's the idea that, if you're wearing trackie bottoms and a sweatshirt, don't pair it with a full face of makeup. They were always the sort of articles that used the phrase 'pair it' without any awareness as to how lame it sounds. Anyway, now I've worked out that this is bullshit and if you want to wear lipstick with trackie bottoms then it looks fine. It looks like you're wearing lipstick. Nobody cares. Just like that whole 'eyes or lips, not both' thing. I go both regularly and maybe I look like a clown, but if that's the case, then I'm a clown with great makeup. 

Leggings 

Leggings have gone through the entire gamut of fashion opinions since everyone started wearing them under denim skirts in the noughties. You shouldn't wear them as trousers! You shouldn't wear them under shorts! You shouldn't wear them! They're OK to wear! They're the best! They're the worst! Currently, the general consensus seems to be that it's better to opt for any other type of trousers if you want to be considered 'fashionable' - unless the leggings in question are patterned - which baffles me because sometimes only black leggings will do. Sometimes you've eaten a pizza the night before and the only thing that feels comfortable is a massive shirt that goes down to your knees and a pair of humble black leggings. Every time I wear this, though, I feel like a page of Vogue shrivels and dies. No longer. I'm going to embrace the elasticated qualities of leggings and refuse to be shamed for it. Plus, patterned leggings look totally stupid. 

Socks that don't match 

Sure, if you have time to separate your socks then I, a) want to be you and b) want you to teach me how you do it, but either way, whenever I see a woman wearing unmatching socks I think she looks just the right sort of DGAF (don't give a fuck - in case you aren't down with the acronyms). So go forth and give less fucks, people. Because socks are socks, and you should be proud of their diversity. 

Like this? You might also be interested in...

Dear Fashion Industry, What Do You Have Against Sleeves In Summer?

How To Dress In Summer When You Hate Baring Skin

Calling Bullshit On Fashion Jargon. All Of It. 

Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM

Picture: Sophie Davidson

Tags: Fashion So-Called Rules