Lucy Morris | Fashion and Beauty Editor | Thursday, 20 April 2017

All The Underwear You’ve Ever Owned

All The Underwear You’ve Ever Owned

The Debrief: Whether you’re willing to admit it or not

Forget Facebook milestones, your underwear drawer is the ultimate marker of life’s big moments. It’s seen you graduate from a trainer bra to your first sexy set. It hid your first thong from your mum and it shields the world from your period pants. A delve in my top drawer is more revealing than going through my diary as you’re sure to find something that will embarrass me beyond belief. Understandably, no one feels sentimental about their pants, but if you take a second to think about all the different types of knickers you’ve ever worn we swear you’re feel a pang of nostalgia. Whether you’re willing to admit to it or not, you probably own these 18 underthings…

1.    Hello Boys Bra

As reliable as Tinder at finding you a date, but equally unreliable at finding you Mr Right. 

2.    Period Pants

Every single woman owns a pair (or seven). These are instantly recognisable by the fact they are super comfy, offer full-coverage and are usually black (for obvious reasons).

3.    First Thong

Probably purchased at Tammy Girl or La Senza, they were your first conception of ‘sexy’ and probably haven’t had an outing in years.

4.    Calvin Kleins

In the knicker world, this is as obviously designer as most of your pants get. Feasibly, you could get this pair for half the price at M&S, but it wouldn’t have that logo waistband. 

5.    Sexy Set

Save for special occasions (or when knickers and bra washdays coincide). 

6.    Party In The Back Pants

Most likely brought with your mates at an inappropriately young age on a day out to Victoria’s Secrets, but also most likely worn the night you had that impromptu one night stand that never called back. 

7.    Suck You In Spanx

The best thing that ever happened to you and your wardrobe right up until the moment your dress does a Marilyn Monroe in the wind. 

8.    Days Of The Week Knickers

Never ever worn on the correct days, but that doesn’t matter as they are still cute AF.

9.    Boyshorts

Not worn since 2011, mostly because their wedgie potential is through the roof. 

10.    Ouchy Bra

You’ll never remember that thiisss is the bra with the wire poking out until it’s too late and you’re on the bus to work.

11.    Festival Bralet

Perfect when worn as a top to Bestival, less ideal when worn under a t-shirt.

12.    The Multiway

It was advertised to you as the ultimate solution to wearing a bra with difficult dresses as you can transform it from strapless to razorback at the flip of a strap, but TBH you’ve never actually changed it from the regular formation. 

13.    Ready To Sweat Sportsbra

Your go-to for everything from HIIT class to hitting the track, it’s a ready-set-sweat necessity.

14.    Should Come With A VPL Warning French Knickers

Cute when you’re half naked, but less so when you find yourself smoothing down the lace layers while pulling up your trousers. Annoyingly, these are always handwash only. 

15.    Tit Tape

While rarely reliable we’ll always remain hopeful that this is the answer to our problems. 

16.    Multipack Investment Set

Mums always love a good bargain, and that mantra has trickled down – for better or worse – to your wardrobe. 

17.    Transparent (But Not Invisible) Bra Straps

Trust us, you ain’t kidding anyone as those plastic straps can be seen from Mars. 

18.    Chicken Fillets

Fun fact: a girl I knew use to wear two at once – she claims it was for support, but we all knew the real reason… 


Liked this? You might also be interested in:

It’s Legit OK To Wear Knock-Offs Now

14 Kitten Heels That Are Anything But Dowdy 

The 11 Pieces That Will Make You Rethink Warehouse

Follow Lucy on Instagram @lucyalicemorris

Tags: Nostalgia