WTH Is The G-Spot And How Do I Make The Most Of It?
The Debrief: How do you find the g-spot and stimulate it until your face goes all screwed up and you moan loud enough to disturb your housemates? We have the answers...
There are a million sex toys on the market that purport to stimulate the 'G-Spot' – that one special place inside the vagina that is extra-sensitive. But what exactly is the G-Spot? How do you find the g-spot and stimulate it until your face goes all screwed up and you moan loud enough to disturb your housemates? We have the answers...
What exactly is the G-Spot?
Thanks, I'm glad you asked. I used to believe it was a magic place, just inside my vagina, which would give me an immediate and explosive orgasm if only I could stimulate it correctly. This isn't quite true, and no amount of rummaging with a sex toy has yet led me to discover an insta-come holy grail. It is, however, just inside your vagina, and it's more sensitive to touch and pressure than the rest of the vagina.
Some people love having it stimulated, others don't, but if you're one of the former (or you want to find out if you are) then the best way to do it is to have a play on your own – with a g-spot sex toy if you can get hold of one – and a bit of lube and patience.
Where is the G-Spot?
It's an inch or two from the opening of the vagina, on the front wall. So if you're facing the ceiling, it's the vaginal wall that's facing away from the ceiling. Imagine a teenage lover fingering you with the 'come hither' motion – were they to plaintively cry 'how do I find the G-Spot?' you could let them know that they're on the right track. It's not like the clitoris, though, which usually announces its presence by being a visible/tactile lump – the paraurethral sponge is a fairly small patch, around an inch in diameter, and the best way for someone else to know they've found the g spot is with the change in texture. The best way for you find your G-Spot is feeling for a change in sensation. Some women (myself included) say that strong pressure on the G-Spot feels a bit like your bladder's full. I know, it doesn't sound sexy, but bear with me.
Do I need a G-Spot vibrator?
It's not essential, but if you fancy a bit of G-Spot massage there are lots of options out there. Some of the top recommended ones (by sex bloggers – and I follow a lot of sex bloggers) include the Lelo Ina Wave – a new toy which performs that specific 'come hither' motion. The toy actually curves in repeatedly so it hits that magic spot. I have no idea what wizardry means they're able to make a vibrator do this, but sex toy expert Cara Sutra gave it a solid 9 out of 10 for g-spot stimulation. It's quite pricey, though, at £130 so if your pay packet is more of a sad trumpet wail than a triumphant fanfare, you might prefer something cheaper. Epiphora (another sex toy expert) recommends the non-vibrating Pure Wand for g spot stimulation, although that's still around £100in the UK. At around £60, check out Emmeline Peaches' review of the Boom Olive g-spot vibrator.
How can I hit the G-Spot during sex?
This is one of those 'how long is a piece of string?' questions. More specifically, it's one of those 'how long is the thing you're having sex with?' questions. G-Spot stimulation during sex is going to depend a lot on the length of insertion, thickness, as well as angle of entry.
Doggy style is up there as one of the best, especially if your partner is slightly 'above' you (if they're slightly taller then their penis or strap-on will be angled downwards slightly towards the front wall of the vagina). If the heights don't make that easy, then grab loads of pillows for one or other of you to kneel on. If you prefer face-to-face, then the variation on missionary where the person on the bottom rolls back until their feet are over and behind their head is a great one for getting deep penetration. As with all sex positions, if there's something really specific you're aiming for, good communication is key. What I'm saying is you might have to channel the Chuckle Brothers and do a bit of 'left a bit, no to me, to you' while you're humping.
It's also worth pointing out that not all sex has to include penetration. If you've had fun with g-spot stimulation while you're masturbating and you want to demonstrate to your partner just how much joy it brings you, then a combination of g-spot massage (either by your partner, with their fingers, or with a toy) with oral sex can be a total winner.
Is there a male G-Spot?
Not exactly, although people who haven't got vaginas do have an equivalent internal place that's pretty fun to play with. It's up the arse, roughly as far in as the G-Spot is, and it's called the prostate. For that reason, a lot of people refer to the 'p-spot.' As far as I understand it the sensations are different, but if you're with someone who fancies trying it out, a couple of fingers and a lot of lube can lead to some spectacular things.
What if I can't find the G-Spot?
Hey, it's OK. Finding the G-Spot is not compulsory – if you enjoy sex and masturbation as it is now, and you've no particular desire to go rooting around for the G-Spot, that is completely your perogative. I imagine when people first started discussing the g-spot, women around the world worked themselves into a heap of panic because they simply couldn't get there, or they got there and found it wasn't as magical for them as the magazine articles had led them to believe.
If you've found it and you love it then good for you. If you're not keen on either the idea or the sensation: good for you too. The main thing is to know your body as well as you can, understand what it likes and dislikes, and how best to show your partners where your own pleasure spots are.
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