Science Says Stoners Are Having Better Sex Than You
The Debrief: In defense of stoned sex
Great news for all the stoners out there who are sick of hearing people tell them they’re useless at everything – turns out you’re not at all useless at sex!
Luxury condom brand Skyn carried out an undeniably exhaustive study of 500,000 18-34 year olds and found that the average stoner – typically someone who smokes weed every day – is not only having banging more but is banging better as well.
'Heightened sensory experience'
According to the results, 59% of cannabis users are having consistently great sex, considerably high-er (see what I did there) than the 41% of non-smokers who report the same. It seems like there’s a few reasons for this; as a stimulant, weed is more likely to make you hyper-aware of bodily sensations, leading to deeper orgasms – especially in women.
'Stoned sex can be really great, because it gives you a heightened sensory experience – everything is more intense,' says Alice*, a part-time stoner who’s been with her boyfriend for 2 years. 'Head is especially fantastic. But it can take me a while to actually get going as I’m too busy rolling around giggling, or feeling sleepy. I have to be coaxed into it a bit more, but once I get going it’s always worth it. Some of the best orgasms I’ve had have been when I’m high.'
And what of the findings that say stoners are having more sex as well, with 14% of those asked admitting they’re having high sex multiple times a day? Surely this can’t just be down to the fact the fact that being high on a weekend can often mean not leaving your bed til mid-afternoon?
Waking, Baking and Love Making
As an occasional indulger of waking, baking and love-making myself, smoking weed with my boyfriend means starting the day on a more intimate emotional level, and it follows through that sex is high on our list of priorities. And it’s easy to forget about breakfast or even coffee when a post-coital spliff is so close to hand.
'I do see stoned sex as a novelty,' says long-term weed smoker Fearghall, 'because it’s something you can only indulge in occasionally. There’s something about just running with your animal instincts and being spontaneous with it that can be really hot. But that may have as much to do with the excitement of being a bit naughty – if you could consider smoking weed naughty!'
Though there is evidence linking high levels of marijuana consumption to things like erectile dysfunction and the obvious dry-mouth-related inconveniences, the only obstacle to great sex I came across in my extensive research of sexually active stoners was the very real risk of accidentally getting too baked to move.
Sex and pizza
Bryn, who’s a dedicated pot-head and would choose ‘smoking weed over the pub any day,’ tells me about a time he got really high with a new girl he was seeing. 'I don’t remember how we started fooling around, but I was totally unimaginative and disengaged. I was just playing with her absentmindedly, watching the telly.'
Fearghall is inclined to agree: 'Sex definitely can be more focused and intense when you’re high,' he concludes, 'until I get to the point where I order pizza and fall asleep.'
But assuming this is post-coitus and not mid, I think these findings are perfectly accurate.
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