Girl On The Net | Contributing Writer | Thursday, 28 May 2015

Period sex: yes or no? Or hell yes just please don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t touch my super-sensitive boobs

Period Sex: Yes Or No?

The Debrief: Can you have sex on your period? And how? Here's everything you need to know about period sex..

Can you have sex during your period? The short answer is yes, you totally can. How to have sex during your period you ask? The short answer is 'you might want to put a towel down or something,' and the more detailed answer is below. I'm a massive fan of period sex, because about halfway through my period, I become intensely horny. Like a tiny irritating dog wanting to hump everyone's leg under the table at a dinner party. But while I appreciate that image is so sexy you'll want to emulate it in some kind of erotic role-play, I know some people have concerns. So here are the answers to all the questions you ever wanted to ask about period sex, and some real life tips if you want to get your menstrual shag on. 

Before we get started, I'm going to alert you to the fact that a) I have had a lot of period sex and b) I do not give one shiny fuck about saying things that some people think are gross. My body is not gross, it just does things, and I'm going to give you my tried and tested tips on period sex, using as many details and unusual anecdotes as I can cram into one article. That's my way of saying strap yourselves in, because this bus is heading straight to Too Much Info Town. 

How do I have sex on my period?

Sometimes my flow is super-heavy, and yet I find not a single drop on my bedsheets. At other times I think I am fairly light, and my dude and I end up looking like we've been interrupted at a zombie feast. Basically the human body is weird and unpredictable, so if you're worried about your sheets you might want to put a towel down. 

Top tip: If the idea of going 'I'll just grab a dark-coloured towel so my gore doesn't get on the John Lewis Egyptian cotton' doesn't appeal to you, then sex with you on top is the best way to avoid any mess that can't be washed off. 

What if I want to have sex while on my period and my partner doesn't want to?

You can't see it via the medium of words, but I am narrowing my eyes right now because I hate it when people are mean and judgy about things bodies do. There's a really interesting study in Feminism + Psychology, by Breanne Fahs, on women's attitudes towards menstruation and sex which examines people's reasons for feeling either positive or negative towards humping on the rag (it's an academic study, so they do not use the phrase 'on the rag' – it's unprofessional). When women who felt negatively about period sex were asked why, many of the reasons they stated were to do with partner discomfort, and the emotional work involved in dealing with their partner's discomfort. So, long story short: people getting disgusted by their partner's menstruation really annoy me, but I'm not going to pretend this is no big deal. It may well be the greatest barrier to your own rag-time shagging. 

My first ever boyfriend, having nervously avoided any kind of sexual contact while I was 'on', eventually got horny enough to agree we should give it a shot, only to panic when he examined his dick afterwards. Pale and shaking, he turned to me like a man who has seen the secrets of hell itself, and whispered “It's... it's got chunks in!”

On the other hand, one guy was so utterly unfazed by the whole bleeding thing that he removed my tampon with his teeth. Naturally, your partner has no obligation to shag you while you're on your period, but that story's there to show you that while some guys might be a bit squeamish about it, others could not give one tiny toss.

Top tip: If your partner is somewhere on the fence about menstrual sex, I'd recommend starting with some at the tail end of your period, when your flow is weaker and it's less likely to have chunks in. It's totally natural, but if someone's never menstruated themselves, I can see why it might be a bit of a shock. 

Can I have unprotected sex on my period? 

You're less likely to get pregnant on your period, but it's still possible. Ultimately the answer to this question is the same for period sex as it is for any other sex: use contraception if you don't want an STI or a baby. 

Why do I always want sex on your period?

It depends on your body. Anecdotally, I know many people for whom the first couple of days of their period are a total no-go for shagging, but towards the middle and the end, it's all systems go. Other people I know have said that having an orgasm can help. According to the study mentioned above, many of the women who had positive responses to period sex reported increased sensitivity at that time of the month. 

Personally, I'm far more sensitive when I'm on my period, which is great for my vag (it makes it easier for me to come) although not so great for my boobs (even the gentlest squeeze has me hissing like an angry cat). 

Top tip: As with all sex stuff, you'll need to experiment to find what works best for you. Apart from anything else, it's fun to shout 'FOR SCIENCE!' as you whip off your knickers. 

Period Sex

How do you have clean sex on your period? Is the shower best? 

Meh – you can if you want. In my opinion, shower sex is totally overrated. Slippery, dangerous, and the water washes away all your body's natural lubrication – of which, by the way, period blood is one and it works pretty damn well. But if you like that kind of thing then go for it. 

Top tip: For God's sake make sure you've got something to hold onto when you climax. A bit of menstrual blood is one thing, a couple of pints of arterial and a trip to A+E is quite another. 

What if it's... umm... brown?

This can be lumped in with the 'chunks' issue, so I'm going to lay it on the line here for any people who've never menstruated, just so they aren't hit with startling news if they ever have period sex with a partner: 

Sometimes it's brown. Blood goes brown if it's not fresh, and often towards the beginning or end of the period when things are winding up or down, it'll be a colour that you may not expect. It's cool, though, it's not going to burn your flesh or anything. Also sometimes it has chunks in. Sometimes it will leave a red/brown tidemark on your cock. It'll often get all over your fingers and under your fingernails if you're giving a hand job. It'll almost certainly smell different to the way sex normally smells because – hey! There's a new thing there that isn't spunk, quim, or that special strawberry lube you guys bought for your anniversary! None of these things are the end of the world, I promise. 

Top tip: If you're shagging someone who is on their period, do not ask them 'is that normal?!' like you're worried they'll spontaneously combust. No matter how much you know about them, they're probably more familiar with their body than you are. 

Can my partner still go down on me when I'm on my period?

Oh yeah. Look: there's no fundamental difference with any of your sex bits when you're on your period – they don't grow teeth or turn to stone or anything - they just leak a different kind of stuff to the stuff they leak on an average day. If you wear a tampon, or a Mooncup, then you're unlikely to get blood leaking outside of your vagina, so at most the only thing you'll have to worry about is that trailing bit of string. 

Top tip: If you don't wear a tampon but you (or your partner) is worried about mess, you can try using a dental dam, which stretches over the vulva but is thin enough that you can lick through it. These are also handy if you're worried about transmission of STIs through oral sex. 

Can I still masturbate/orgasm when I'm on my period?

Yes again! And, because your body still does that natural lubrication thing when you get turned on, if you orgasm with a tampon in it'll slide out real easy afterwards. But it can be hard to grab the string when it's slippery. 

Top tip: There's no law that says your sex toys need to be banished to a drawer while you're bleeding. If you're horny, but either single or too grumpy to have a shag, get reacquainted with your favourites. Glass and metal toys, waterproof vibrators, and silicon dildos – all pretty easy to clean afterwards. 

Is it better to go for anal/blow jobs/hand jobs instead?

Actually the worst pre-shag line I ever heard was from aforementioned Young Boyfriend who cocked a sexy smile at me when I told him I was 'on' and informed me that 'you know what they say, if the river's running red, take the dirt track.' It took me a while to work out that he meant bumming. Like my menstrual blood was the worst thing he could possibly contemplate smearing on his cock, but anal? Totally fine. 

As it happens, it was pretty fun, but that's not the point. 

On top of the anal thing, I've known other guys (and more than a few internet memes) that refer to Aunt Flo's visit as 'blow job week.' These guys are basically knobheads, because essentially this assumption boils down to the idea that, while one of your bodily functions might be inconvenient for them, you're obliged to provide them with an alternative service. As if you are a chef who's run out of today's special and he's a fussy customer demanding bespoke meals. 

Naturally, with period sex as with any sex, do only what you want to do. If you want to spend a week taking it up the arse, then be my absolute guest: as I say, it's pretty damn fun. A week of blow jobs? If you like it, then suck away. But if you want to spend a week curled foetally on a pile of cushions and growling if anyone tries to touch you? That's cool too. As long as you've got Netflix and a steady supply of carbs and cheese, I'm sure you'll have a lovely time doing that too. 

Top tip: It's your period: do what the bleeding fuck you want. 

Like this? You might also be interested in this:

Ribena Face, Dedicated Towels And Other Things That Come Up When You Discuss Period Sex At Length 

Every Question You've ever Had About Your periods, Answered

Think Your PMS Is Bad? PMDD Made Me Throw Stuff At My Boyfriend

'Periods Aren't Scary' And Other Things A Brother Learned From Growing Up With A Sister

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Tags: Sex, NSFW, Sex O\'Clock, Sex Ed, Periods