Alix Fox | Contributing Writer | 1,004 day ago

How To Style It Out When Your Boyfriend/Casual Sex Partner Presents You With Some Unexpected Girls-Inspired Rimming

The Debrief: We asked some girls - and a guy - who know...

Recently, it seems the whole world has been talking about assholes after Allison Williams’ character Marnie, on Lena Dunham’s TV series Girls, was shown receiving analingus – aka rimming, or ‘salad tossing’ – from her on-screen boyfriend Desi. So, we thought we’d chat to some real-life girls (plus a bonus guy) – some who work in the sex industry, most who don’t – about their experiences of receiving a rim job. 

What’s the best way to relax while your lover licks your log flume? Kissing afterwards: good manners or grotesque? How do you avoid accidentally guffing while your butthole’s enjoying a fluffing? All is revealed with unflinching frankness by our honest interviewees…

Laura, 24, Trainee Accountant

'The first time I got rimmed was highly embarrassing. While an ex was giving me a back massage, I felt him slowly kiss down my spine to my ass, and start to open my bum up with his fingers. The shock when I felt his tongue on my ring caused me to clench like a Venus Fly Trap, pinching his nose between my cheeks. He giggled. I died. But that wasn’t my worst experience…

Terror of all terrors, I farted while my current boyfriend was giving me a rim job. Not a massive one, but one of those slow, blowy ones, emitted while on my hands and knees with his face right in my ass. I was nearly sick with mortification. I buried my head in the pillow in shame while he nearly fell off the bed laughing, and it was half an hour before I could even speak to him. 

Needless to say, it put me off for a while, but a few months later we tried again, and I fucking loved it. Maybe it’s the humiliation, the debasement, the dirtiness of someone licking you in your filthiest place. I do some exercises on my own beforehand now, though, laying on the floor and pulling my knees up to my chest to relieve any gassiness beforehand!

I definitely kiss my partner after he’s rimmed me; I think it’s hypocritical to expect him to put his mouth on my bottom but refuse to snog him afterwards. It does have a subtle flavour…not as strong as kissing after cunnilingus, and no, it doesn’t taste of poop if you’re clean…it tastes sexy.'

Kelly, 23, Student 

'I’m really new to being rimmed, but I think I enjoy it more than the usual oral sex – it’s far more sensitive and feels deliciously dirty. 

My lover and I like to play a game where if one of us is doing something practical – ordering takeaway on the phone, cooking, talking on their mobile to family – the other will do their best to distract them sexually, to the stage where they can’t function anymore. One night, I was kneeling on the floor using my laptop, when he crept over, pulled down my knickers, and started to tease my clitoris with his fingers. I was doing fine until I felt his tongue on my asshole for the first time, at which point I lost my mind and faceplanted into my keyboard!

If you and your partner ever watch porn together, a good way of kicking off a conversation about ass eating could be to choose a vid featuring a girl getting a rim job and comment on how much it looks like she’s enjoying it. If you’re really self-conscious about your arse being icky, you could try taking things a step further than simply washing before he rims you, and instead get him to go down on your butthole while you’re both in a warm shower. Although I need a cold one to calm down now…'

Rhianne, 27, Sex Shop Manager

'Being on the receiving end of a rim-job melts. My. Fucking. Brain. There, I’ve said it! It’s so intense that I can’t think; everything else just evaporates. A warm, wet tongue on all those tingly anal nerve-endings, plus a well lubed-up, slick hand exploring my clit or G-spot at the same time…overwhelming!'

Amanda, 25, Bartender

'I do enjoy being rimmed, but only as part of an overall experience. I find that area is only sensitive when I'm already turned on or being stimulated. Going in cold doesn't feel good at all. I don't like it when it's exclusively the only thing happening to me; it feels strange and takes me out of my headspace. I'm a big fan of multi stimulation anyway - the more bits of me that are being played with the better.

If you’d like to get your lover to rim you but don't feel OK talking about it, maybe you could try mentioning it in a provocative text? Things are much easier when it's kept playful, and that way if their reaction seems negative just carry on with the sexy banter to recover.'

Gem, 28, Make-Up Artist

'In my mid-twenties, I’d just come out of a relationship that was very sexually stunted. I needed some release, so I booty-called an ex I knew was very experimental. I found myself on all fours in his South London bedroom, with him enthusiastically enjoying me with his face/fingers/toys, when suddenly I became aware of a firm, pointy tongue probing my stink-eye. I froze, tensed up, but was too nervous to stop it...then discovered I kinda liked it. The right tension on bumhole area can be so sensual. If you’re into being submissive, having your man’s mouth there can make you feel so ‘small’ and exposed, too. 

I have a great fear of poo in sexual situations, so using an anal douche is a good precursor to any bum fun for me – being superclean inside as well as out takes away most of the faecal fear so I can relax. Yet the ass-to-mouth kissing conundrum remains! Should you let your teammate kiss you after he’s tongued your rusty sheriff’s badge?! While a finger or penis up the botty can be wrapped in a condom that can be whipped off and disposed of, there’s no such barrier between his mouth and your brown eye…”

Actually, you can use a barrier while rimming, by placing a small square of latex known as a ‘dental dam’ over the anus and licking through it. Get a flavoured version here - or a non-latex version here - and whack a few drops of lube on the rim-receiver’s sphincter for added sensation before holding the dam in place. Dams give extra protection from germs, but there’s no denying they change the rimming experience significantly. Some would argue that sanitising the act this way removes a lot of its deliciously filthy appeal, but ho hum – if it works for you, then do whatever’s clever, sister. 

Like the idea of cleaning out your poo pipe by giving it a swoosh with a  douche? Try this one.'

Mr Smith, 31, Sex Industry Magazine Editor

'In my experience, most women love having their salad tossed. You can’t pounce straight onto her ‘rosebud’, though; blokes need to begin with little kisses on the buttocks and gradually work closer to putting the pucker of their lips on the pucker of her sphincter using teasing licks that spiral in, reading the feedback from her body language as they go. If she pulls away, it means ‘Slow down’ or ‘No thanks’, while pushing back and moaning means ‘Yes please! Tongue-fuck my ass like a Creme Egg!’. Wriggling can be confusing – is it a ‘Yum! More!’ wriggle, or a ‘I’m not loving this but don’t want to offend by scooting as far from you as possible’ wriggle? So ladies, if your man’s lapping your ring and you’re lapping it up, push gently back into his face to let him know…or just tell him how great it feels.

If a woman’s submissive in bed, I like commanding her to hold her cheeks apart as I lick her holiest of holes. It reminds her who’s boss, even though I’m the one with my face in her ass.' 

Harriet, 29, PR

'Being rimmed is the most intimate thing I've experienced sexually, more than actual anal sex even. There's a big psychological element to it - your partner is pleasuring you in a very private way, and it increases the intimacy between you. 

The first time I experienced it, my partner gave me no warning. I was torn between being startled and alarmed, versus being aroused by how bold he was and how interesting it felt. Still today, my partner doesn't pre-warn me when he's going to rim me; he'll be licking me out normally and then give me a really sudden kiss or lick to the ass to make me catch my breath and then stay there, holding my gaze. Super-hot. It does mean I’ve made a ritual out of washing and shaving my butthole before I see him though, just in case.'

Gemma, 25, Support Worker

'I’m dominant in bed, and love the control it gives me to demand that my fella lick my ass. It’s such a turn on to know a bloke is passionate enough about me to be willing to do something so animalistic. It’s ‘special occasion’ play for me and my partner, though; keeping rimming as a sex act we only indulge in every once in a while keeps it special and stops sex getting predictable. 

I think a lot of women worry that rimming is foreplay for anal sex, and they don’t relax because they’re worried that their partner is about to try and put his cock in their butt. It can just be a way to add a naughtier edge to oral, though. If I’m feeling particularly horny I’ll push my lover’s head a little lower while he’s going down on me, and ask him to "lick all my holes" – then it’s up to him if he’s in the mood to quickly dart his tongue there, or spend more time in that region.'

Alex, 28, Escort

'One of my clients, a gent called Mr. L, is nuts about rimming me, and the last time I visited him at his home in Manchester he asked me to wear an old pair of pants I didn’t mind getting trashed. He cut a hold in the arse, gave me a rim job through it, then tore them off and ended up wrapping the elasticated waistband around the base of his penis as a cock ring.'

Crikey. It really is rim up north. 

Liked this? You might also be interested in: 

A Beginner's Guide To Anal Sex 

Fantasy Vs Reality: What This Man Really Thinks Of Anal Sex 

Three Ways The Anal Conversation Always Seems To End Up Going 

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Tags: Sex, NSFW, Sex O\'Clock, Sex Ed