Are We The Most Misinformed Generation About Sex Ever?
The Debrief: Sex psychologist Laurie Mintz reckons we might be, but offers advice on what she reckons we actually do need to know
Laurie Mintz might be our new favourite lady ever. A sex psychologist and professor, she says her students describe her as 'Barbara Streisand in Meet The Fockers, likely because I have curly hair, a large nose, and talk about sex a lot.'
Anyways, a few months back, one of Laurie's colleagues asked her what she thought about our generation's attittudes and knowledge about sex and, in an incredible post on the Psychology Today website, Laurie says that she reckons that, due to things like porn, we 'seem to be more misinformed than any other'. Which sounds worrying. Anyways, as a professor, Laurie's keen to educate us and has written list of things that young sexually active heterosexual girls might have 'distorted' views on and, while most of them you know, it's nice to have them reiterated to you from the point of view of someone who does all this for a living and who sure as hell isn't judging you or anything you do.
You can read the whole letter over here. But below we've selected a few of our favourite points...
Sex is meant to be pleasurable.
Something, Laurie is keen to mention, is missed out of sex education classes for the most part. In fact Laurie says 'you deserve pleasure' something that's all too often forgotten.
If you need to use lube, that's OK
Apparently not all women are able to produce enough natural lubricant so, if not, then go wild with the shop-bought stuff.
Squirting isn't a thing that every woman can do
So don't worry. Ditto finding the g-spot.
So figure out what you like through masturbating.
Put the body consciousness to one side
As Laurie says, 'You can’t have an orgasm while trying to hold your stomach in.'
Your vulva is 'beautiful'
According Laurie, a lot of vaginas in porn have been 'digitally altered or the porn stars have had surgery' so if yours looks different then that's totally normal.
Anyways, there's much more in the original post but Laurie gives a very nice TLDR at the end if you're in a bit of a rush; 'If I had only three tips to give you, they would be the following: 1) learn about your own body (especially your clitoris); 2) learn to tell a partner what you like and want; and 3) learn to mindfully immerse yourself during sex.'
Laurie is here on Twitter if you want to give her a shout/internet hug for being just delightful.
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Illustration by Eugenia Loli
At work? With your gran?
You might want to think about the fact you're about to read something that wouldn't exactly get a PG rating