Anonymous | Writer | Friday, 28 August 2015

A Virgin’s Guide To Masturbation

A Virgin’s Guide To Masturbation

The Debrief: Because locating your clit is the most important thing you will ever do. FACT.

Being a twenty-something virgin can be beyond awkward. Not only are you the last out of your friends to still have your cherry intact, but the thought of asking advice on where everything is and what exactly you’re meant to do just makes you cringe. What’s worse is that your life may as well revolve around sex. It’s all your friends seem to talk about, it’s all you can think about and with pretty much anything and everything turning you on you feel horny 24/7.

Enter: masturbation. The only problem is that it can be tough getting started, especially when sex education at schools has only taught us about the dangers of having sex and not the pleasure part, leaving us pretty uninformed. Don’t worry though, as both a virgin and a masturbator I’ll try and get you through this. So where do we start...what about where everything is? Because let’s face it locating your clit is the most important thing you will ever do. FACT.

A simple tour around your vajayjay…

If you haven’t looked at your vagina yet, then you definitely need to book yourself a quiet evening in with a small mirror - because without at least having a little peek you’re going into this blind. When you do get chance and have your mirror in position, the first thing you’ll notice is that your vaginal opening might not be completely visible (although this depends on your vagina, because like shoes they come in different shapes and sizes). If you use your fingers to gently separate your lips, then you’ll be able to see it a lot better. You might be surprised on just how small it is feels but don't panic, it will get bigger when you’re aroused. If you feel something quite hard when you first enter (almost like a bone) don’t panic it’s just your pubic bone, which is completely normal. If you go beyond it, you should be able to feel your g-spot and hymen. Your G-spot will feel like a little rough patch on the top wall of your vagina and your hymen will just be a really thin layer of skin on the walls that is a little bit sore to touch - even if you're a virgin, you might have already broken your hymen - using tampons or horse riding can apparently break it, so don't panic if you don't feel anything. 

So what about your clit?

As to your clit, this is a little bit trickier. The tip of your clit is actually at the top of your vagina and covered by a small ‘hood' . If you have a feel and aim for the bit just below your pubes and above your opening, you should be able to find it. The best thing about this genius body part is not only does it run up inside your vagina, but you can actually orgasm from being in the right mood and rubbing the hood/tip, which is bloody fantastic. 

Your choice of equipment

Now you’ve got a better idea of where the essential pleasure-makers are, your choice of equipment is next. Fingers are the most popular choice, whether it’s just gently rubbing your clit or attempting to go for the g-spot, which FYI can break your hymen. Yep, if you stretch your hymen enough, you will inevitably break it without penetration from an actual penis - so that's something to keep in mind. And of course virgins can use vibrators - don't anyone tell you otherwise (although, again, you could break your hymen). And just like when you're using your fingers you’ll need to use loads of lube to make the process a lot smoother and more enjoyable. 

If you haven’t been experimenting already, the best way to start is just by rubbing your clit with two fingers, whether it’s the classic circular motion or just up and down. Find out what works for you and go with it. If you want to take it one step further invest in a vibrating finger ring. I've found that they can sometimes be are one-use wonders, so you’ll want to get a few. They’re really easy to use, come in loads of different designs and as sex toys for virgins go, they're great as they are primarily designed for stimulating your clit without having to put anything inside you. 

And if you're using your fingers or a vibrator to explore inside of you start, slowly, and experiment with what you do and don't like. It will take a few tries before you find out what you like and how you like it, but it will be totally worth it in the end. To spice it up even more you can buy finger simulators, which are pretty much textured thimbles you can wear when fingering yourself to help you come even more. If you’re going down the vibrator route, make sure it offers multi-speed because going from not using a vibrator to full on power can be a bit much so be sure you build yourself up when it comes to speed and how far you put it inside you.

The most important thing about masturbating as a virgin is taking it slow, because diving straight in with toys or techniques you haven’t used before can be a really crap experience, something masturbation shouldn’t be. So just remember orgasms don’t come straight away and patience (plus a hell of a lot of lube) is the key to a good sex life for a virgin.

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Tags: Sex O\'Clock