Alix Fox | Contributing Writer | Monday, 8 December 2014

A Beginner's Guide To Rimming: How To Be A Kick-Ass Kiss-Ass

The Debrief: The ability to lick your boyfriend’s bumhole with skill can be an amazing tool in your sexual arse-nal. Sorry.

What is rimming? 

In case you're wondering what rimming means, ‘rimming’ is the act of using your mouth and tongue to pleasurably stimulate the outside rim of your partner’s arsehole. In a lot of folks’ heads, it’s a practice primarily associated with gay blokes; but(t) as with other types of bum-based fun, rimming is something an increasing number of straight gents - and women - are now beginning to discover the appeal of.

'In the last 12 months, sales of butt plugs have risen 73%, while the number of prostate toys sold has increased by 59% - figures that are certainly in part due to heterosexuals becoming more open to the idea of anal play, including oral stimulation,' says Matt Curry, Head of E-Commerce at adult retailer Lovehoney.co.uk. 'In addition, one of the winners of our annual "Design A Sex Toy" competition was a spinning anal plug, designed to mimic a rimming sensation, which we’re currently developing.'

Kevin Corney, Head Sex Toys Buyer at erotic e-tailer Bondara.co.uk, agrees. 'In the past, any sort of anal stimulation has been viewed as taboo for heterosexuals, but this perception has changed – more people are recognising the intense pleasure anal play offers and have fewer hang-ups about experimenting with it,' he comments.

But if you’ve never attempted rimming before, how do you begin? And how do you succeed in being an open-minded, up-for-at-least-trying-it lover without getting squicked out by the idea of putting your face in the faeces place? 

READ MORE: Inevitable Lies We've Told During Skype Sex 

Rimming tips and rimming techniques, how to do rimming

ABLUTE THE POOP-CHUTE

It goes without saying that you want someone’s bottyhole to be as clean as a whistle before you put your lips anywhere near it. Thorough washing before rimming reduces the risk that germs will be spread from bum to tongue, limits unpleasant smells and tastes for the giver, and helps the receiver to relax in the knowledge that they don’t have a Newton’s Cradle of dangleberries jangling around their arse. Master Dominic - a Dominant and sex educator who teaches regular evening classes at swanky erotic emporium Coco De Mer, and winner of the Erotic Performer of the Year title at the 2014 Sexual Freedom Awards – says, 'your lover will feel less cagey and self-conscious about you being so close to their butt if they know it’s daisy-fresh.'  Jump in the shower or bath together and make lathering up part of the foreplay, if you like.

CREATE A SHAVEN HAVEN

'If you’re dating a hairy guy, you might want to diplomatically ask him to do a little pre-rimming manscaping, and carefully trim or shave the fur around his arsehole' continues Master Dominic. Culling those follicles stops the giver ending up with a mouthful of posterior pubes, and feeling like they’re French kissing Cousin It’s bathroom plughole. 'You could shave each other, so the process becomes part of your play,' suggests Renee Dyer, award-winning manager of Sh Erotic Emporium. 'This helps to familiarise you both with that part of each other’s anatomy, and builds anticipation for what’s to come.'

MASSAGE AROUND THE BACK PASSAGE

After everything has been rinsed and razored, lay your lover down on their stomach, and begin to massage their bum cheeks. 'After a while, start gently pulling the buttocks apart so the anus is exposed and your fingers are gradually getting closer to it,' details Dom. 'Whether a man admits it or not, this will make him want you to touch his bunghole.' Renee reckons a blindfold can be a useful accessory for particularly shy guys: 'Not being able to see and be seen helps people slip into their own worlds and relax – plus sensations of touch and sound are enhanced.'

EXPOSE THE PUCKERED ROSE WITH THE RIGHT POSE

Once you’re ready to get cracking on licking that bumcrack, make sure the recipient is in a position that gives you easy access to their anus while still being comfy for them. Renee advises, 'try getting your partner to kneel on the sofa, resting their elbows against the back of it, and arching their sexy butt out. You kneel on the floor, enjoying the awesome view as well as being able to reach all the vital hotspots.'

'I don’t recommend getting your lover on all fours straight away,' counsels Master Dominic. 'Not only can this get a bit too intense a bit too quickly, but it also pulls the muscle and fat of the bumcheeks taut, leaving you little to manipulate apart from the actual ring; don’t take options away from yourself! The aim is to pleasure the whole area, not just the hole.'

READ MORE: What If Other Fetishes Got The 50-Shades Treatment 

DON’T TASTE WASTE

Flavoured lubes serve a dual purpose: adding a dash to your lover’s ass provides extra slippery, slidey slickness to helps your fingers sensually glide over their skin, whilst also masking any inevitable not-so-yum natural bum scents and tastes. I rate ID Fruitopia Banana and Durex Play Passion Fruit (which tastes rather like a sordid Solero). Keep a drink to hand so you can relieve yourself with a sip should you need; a flute of prosecco has a sexy feel to it, rather than flushing the tush out of your gob with, say, a mug of builders’ tea. Renee suggests considering the use of a dental dam: a small square of rubber (flavoured and non-latex versions are available too) that can be held over the asshole to form a protective barrier that’s still thin enough to transmit sensation.

WORK AROUND THE EYE, NOT STRAIGHT INTO THE EYE, WORK AROUND THE EYE…

Remember that when rimming you are not playing arse darts. The anus is not a bullseye that you should aim your tongue at straight away. Begin by licking, kissing, stroking and nibbling around the area, then move on to tiny, light licks there with the very tip of your tongue, building up the intensity as you slowly stimulate more of the nerve endings the botty is rich in. 'Take time to lick all the little ridges around the anus in circular motions, before beginning to lap at the hole itself,” instructs Master D. 'Focus on stimulating the outer skin and the hard ring of muscle; there aren’t as many nerves actually inside the rectum, so if you do want to penetrate your lover’s bum with your tongue, you only need to push in very slightly. Gentle manipulation, stretching, and lapping are much more pleasant than sticking your tongue so far in you can taste stomach acid.'


BE A SMOOTH ‘RIMINAL WITH THESE EXTRA SPECIAL MOVES

Try not to neglect the rest of your lover’s body while you’re concentrating on getting XXX-rated with their exit doors. Run your hands over their buttocks and down their legs; reach up and play with their nipples; and if you’re rimming your man while he’s laying face-down, try delicately pulling his penis back between his legs (if the natural shape of his erection will allow for this). 'Get this position right, and you chin will massage his balls while you’re eating his ass, whilst your boobs rub against his cock,' says Master Dominic. 'You’re welcome!'

So there you go. If you thought the only way you’d ever be poking around anyone’s rim was when aiming the nozzle of your Toilet Duck, tonight, you and your partner could now be putting the ‘us’ in ‘anus’. Grin while you’re rimming.

Liked this? You might also be interested in: 

Is Holding Back Our Best Sexual Moves The New Chastity?

Five Blowjob Tips We Didn't Learn From Men's Magazines 

The Five Worst Sex Positions Of All Time

Ben Wa Balls: Everything You've Ever Wanted To Know

 

Follow Alix on Twitter @alixfox

Picture: Lukasz Wierzbowski

Tags: Sex, NSFW, Sex O\'Clock