Chemmie Squier | Acting Fashion & Beauty Editor | Tuesday, 12 January 2016

Reddit Users Imagine Which Sexual Fetishes Would Exist In The Harry Potter Universe

Reddit Users Imagine Which Sexual Fetishes Would Exist In The Harry Potter Universe

The Debrief: Who knew how much fun you could have with a chocolate frog?

After one user asked the question we’ve all been thinking: ‘In the Harry Potter universe, what fetishes would there be?’, the good people of Reddit stepped up and gave us what we want. Which, as it turns out, is weirdly fetishised aspects of the Harry Potter wizarding world that basically ruins the whole series. Here’s a small sampling of what users legit came up with... 

Sado-masochism

But not just any old sado-masochism. Bad-monkey suggests that they’d use the Imperius and the Cruciatus curses ‘for some hurts’ and a Safe Spell for if things got a little out of hand. Although another user, voyaging, was not convinced because they’d be ‘far too torturous for even the most intense masochist’. Oh.

Broomstick dildos

Think about it: put a curse on the broomstick and you’ve got the air-borne dildo you’ve always wanted. If this sounds far-fetched, I’d like to draw your attention to the fact that vibrating broomsticks actually already exist. 

Chocolate frogs 

‘Up the arse’ suggests whereismymindgherkin.

Engorgio

The spell which will basically make something swell-up. This, nostrils and Draco Malfoy’s dick is, apparently, a (very gross) thing. 

Golden snitch

Not dissimilar from the chocolate frogs. Dotelpenguin reckons golden snitch anal beads are a good shout.

Polyjuice

There’s a lot of sexual scope when it comes to polyjuice potions. To refresh your memory: polyjuice potion ‘allows the drinker to assume the form of someone else’. And therein lies its endless possibilities. We’re talking swinger ‘key parties’ where hair is used instead of keys: ‘Everyone would grab some hair, go home with their partner, take some polyjuice, and then bang the version each other turns into,’ explains Xannin.

You could even buy celebrity hair so you can finally bang your favourite, which, as HeydontIknowU points out, goes a little way in explaining why some celebrity fanatics buy or keep their hair: they’re literally just waiting until polyjuice is created IRL. Probably.

Dementor erotica

‘You know that there’s gotta be people who get off on the despair and sense of hopelessness felt in the presence of a Dementor.’

Everything else

This guy really went for it and generated a whole list of stuff the wizarding world could be getting up to. Because he’s obviously put a lot of thought into this. 

Like this? You might also be interested in:

Weird Fanfiction Pairings

Where Are All The Other Harry Potter Characters Now?

JK Rowling Has Shut Down All Those People That Can’t Handle A Black Actress Playing Hermione

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