Jess Commons | Deputy Editor | Thursday, 4 February 2016

Men Admit To The Biggest Lies They\'ve Told To Get You To Do The Sex

Men Admit To The Biggest Lies They've Told To Get You To Do The Sex

The Debrief: 'I'm not a virgin' and other charming non-truths

Some guys, can be dicks. As can some girls. In fact, we can all be dicks, a lot of the time. Humans are just dicks.

Some guys though, can be dicks to GET their dick into some girl and aren't exactly averse to a slight bending of the truth in order to get their end away.

Over on Reddit, male users are sharing their worst lies to women into bed.

This guy, who isn't very good at meaningful excuses

'I wasn't a Virgin.

I liked her'

This guy, who went down the conventional route

'I'm a stand up comedian and I've been on TV.

...it worked.'

This guy, who is a Machiavellian arsehole

'She was a uber vegan, anti war peace activist , met her at a bar. Way out of my league. And when I say anti government/anti military I mean it, I'm talking "all soldiers are baby killers" anti gov. Was all she talked about. So I said I agreed with her, we started talking about the evil "military industrial complex" and I said I would join her in a protest coming up at navy pier. Slept together that night and was fantastic. It was after we had finished that I mentioned I was in the Army...and ran like all hell.'

This guy, who definitely needs to grow up

'Told a girl I had mommy issues from a distant mother and that the only reason I liked having sex was so I get to cuddle afterwards and get a lot of physical affection.'

 
 

This guy, who desperately needs a new frame of reference

'When I was younger I'd tell girls I'd been on Jim'll Fix It to impress them. Doesn't have the same effect anymore.'

This guy, who is the most traditional kind of bellend

'I love you'

This guy, who obviously forgot how the names of any relevant brands

'My dad owns Nintendo.'

This guy, who proves douchebags really do exist

'If things were different we'd be together.'

This guy, who is all up on the race card

 I am an Asian guy. When I'm trying to pick up an Asian girl, I'm whatever kind of Asian they want me to be.

Like this? You may also be interested in:

How To Have A Romantic Weekend With Someone Who’s Already Dumped You

Why Foreskin Freaks Me Out

The Realities Of Having Sex When You Have IBS

Follow Jess on Twitter: @jess_commons

Tags: Sex, Relationships