Jess Commons | Deputy Editor | Tuesday, 1 December 2015

Waiters And Waitresses Speak About The Worst Dates They\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'ve Ever Witnessed

Waiters And Waitresses Speak About The Worst Dates They've Ever Witnessed

The Debrief: 'He looks at me unashamedly and asks me if I will suck his dick for €50. I think he was trying to talk his date into a threesome.'

Dating is a hellish kind of thing we’ve all had to go through at some point in our lives. Whether it’s with someone you met on Tinder (very different looking from their pictures, probably moonlights as Mr Titspervert), a friend of a friend (that’s a lot of unecessary pressure we could do without) or even just with your actual partner – dating is a social minefield that almost never, ever goes well.

One group of people who get an unprecedented insight into the dating world are the waiters and waitresses who serve couples on dates. Today, on Reddit, they’re sharing their worst stories. Here’s a few...

The special night gone wrong

‘A guy made a reservation saying he was going to propose. He asked for a special table and for dessert to come with a sparkler candle and, “Will you marry me?” written on it. I bring out the cake, the manager follows me with two glasses of champagne, my co-workers are cheering. We set everything down and walk away.

‘They end up having a serious, quiet discussion and it is very obvious that she is rejecting the proposal. Then three of their friends show up and sit at the table, all excited thinking their friends just got engaged. But it quickly became apparent to them that it was not the case. It’s very quiet and awkward at the table.

‘The woman who was being proposed to left, and the reject and his friends got wasted. He gave me a 20% tip too, which was nice considering how shitty his night had been.’

This indecent proposal

‘I am pretty sure I was being hit on by a drunk dude with his date... but the weird part about it is I am a dude. It was extremely awkward because his date was freaking smoking hot. Either that dude had some emotions bottled away because his date looked embarrassed, or else they were swingers.’

This use of a public space so as not to make a scene

‘This guy takes his wife out just to outline to her the details of how he found out she’d been cheating on him, as he’s telling her, his lawyer serves her with divorce papers. And he leaves. She was rekt, probably deserved to feel like shit, but still, to do it that way. I mean I was pouring her wine when he dropped the bombshell, like he wanted me to be part of it, he wanted her to be humiliated in front of someone.’

This fated attempt to get a free meal

‘Worked at a breakfast diner. A couple came in. I remember almost exactly what they ordered: she had oatmeal and a fresh fruit cup, and he had banana french toast, three eggs, sausage, bacon, hash browns, and toast. She got a mimosa, too, and he just had coffee. Every time I went to check on them, he ordered something else. More bacon, more hash browns, etc.

‘The average bill for two people at this restaurant was between $15 and $20. This dude racked up a $40 bill. The time came to drop it off, and I went back and he said he forgot his wallet, so she put her card down. I went to the card machine and it got declined. I returned to the table and told her it had been declined. She called her bank and I assume they said “tough shit,” so then she said she would call her mom for money to be deposited. The call got heated so she stepped outside. I could see her pacing and crying out front. She came back in tears and said something to the dude. Then she left.

‘I went over and said that he could run home and get his wallet. He looked at me and sighed irritably as if I had inconvenienced him. Then he reached in his back pocket, threw down some cash, and left.’

This real stand up guy

‘Kind of middle aged married couple that came for lunch on the patio, guy starts talking on his phone the second he sits down. It sounded like he was talking business for work, which seemed super strange considering it was a Saturday afternoon, but he didn’t hang up the entire time it took for the food to come out (at least 30 minutes). The wife was just sitting there quietly waiting for him to come sit.

‘When I brought their entrees out I was so relieved to see him with the phone hung up, but not 30 seconds later he’s back at it, and he kept finishing and starting new calls all through lunch, dessert and paying the cheque. I don’t think I heard the wife say a single word the entire meal. Worst part was that the patio is overlooking a pretty scenic lake, and he would not sit down, just kept wandering around close to the railing and talking. I know the manager got a few complaints from other patrons.

‘Felt super terrible for the wife, looked like she was used to it, and he made a comment about how much he liked spoiling her while paying the cheque. Still talking on the phone as they walked out of the restaurant. On top of all that, he would snap his fingers at me if he needed something.’

This guy who really needs a hug

‘Had a middle aged gentleman come into the restaurant. This place is fine dining, white chairs and tablecloths and silver service. He was trying, but was noticeably out of place and uncomfortable. He was extremely awkward, kind of chubby and not at all attractive and spoke with a lisp. But he was super sweet and friendly.

‘His date walked in and I knew right away this was an internet or blind date. She sat at the table and just about immediately turned her nose up at him. She ordered a very expensive bottle of wine, and I saw him do the mental panic thing a lot of our less financially well off customers do when they see the prices on our menu. I served the bottle, feeling pretty bad for the guy at this point because man, he was giving this date his all and she was seriously acting like he wasn’t there.

‘Then before the apps came out she went to use the restroom and never came back. He sat there alone for over an hour and finally asked for the check. He handed me three different cards and asked to split it between them and let me know if any one of them declined. I talked with my manager and explained what I witnessed and she agreed to discount everything down to cost (so he ended up paying only about 30% of the bill).

‘The poor guy started bawling when I brought the check back to him and spilled the entire story. Apparently, this lady was a friend of a friend he had been attracted to for a long time and when their mutual friend set up the date he really wanted to impress her by taking her to the nicest place in town, but didn’t realise how expensive we were.

‘Then bitchface saddled him with the cost of one of our most expensive bottles of wine and ran out. I felt so bad for the poor guy. I mean, I understand that the date obviously wasn’t what she expected. But that was a super shitty thing she did.’

Old moneybags McGee

‘A guy in his 40s with a smoking hot 20 something girl. He had his bank statement on the table and was showing her how much he was worth. To impress her. I think he had like $14k in the bank.’

Every reason Tinder is the worst

‘A girl sits down at my table in the bar and is waiting for a her first Tinder date. They have a couple drinks and she leaves. I think everything is normal... UNTIL... The dude then hands me his card and says, “You’re prettier. Call me.” And proceeds to head into a meeting in the dining room. To make matters worse, she calls the restaurant 10 minutes later to ask me if he really had a meeting to go to or if he was blowing her off.

‘...suuuuuper awkward.’

The cream of the absolute crop

‘I worked at a coffee place (not like a Starbucks, but a small place). It was winter and there was an ice skating rink on the square outside.

‘At about 3pm a couple came in, all red from the cold. They ordered 2 hot chocolates and sat down at one of the tables. I make their drinks and take it to them. It was pretty clear it was their first or second date; they were talking about their ambitions and stuff they liked to do, etc. At one point she walks to the bathroom and he catches my eye and gestures something about how hot she is. Since I’m making coffee for other customers I just smile and give a nod so small that it could mean anything. She comes back and they continue to chat. After a while they order more drinks and a sandwich each. When I’m bringing them over, he looks at me and then at her suggestively. He whispers something to her. She replies “What?! Is that a joke?” He shakes his head. She grabs one of the sandwiches I just brought and throws it at him, then storms off. He looks at me unashamedly – everyone is looking at him now – and asks me if I will suck his dick for €50. I think he’d been trying to talk his date into a threesome.

‘I said no. He cursed, tried to leave without paying but tripped over some ice skates and knocked himself out on the metal fence around the ice rink.

‘The girl came back a few hours later to apologise. When I told her what had happened, she couldn’t stop laughing. I ended up going on a date with her myself, a week later, but we weren’t a good match and we kept it at one date.’

Picture: Rex

You might also be interested in:

What It’s Really Like To Appear On First Dates

Calling BS On Going For Dinner On A First Date

What To Do When You’re Catfished On Tinder

Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons


Tags: Dating Confusion, Dating