Starting a new relationship is daunting. Not only are you figuring out what makes them laugh, how they take tea and what their job actually entails, there’s the logistical social media-related side to navigate: Are you Facebook friends? When should you follow them on Instagram? What if you're tagged in a picture together?
People went a little crazy when Amy Schumer introduced her boyfriend via Instagram and Twitter for the first time yesterday.
Plus, Justin Bieber's been posting a steady stream of Instagram pictures of him and Hailey Baldwin since his initial picture.
For us laymen, introducing a partner on social media might not be quite such a big deal to the world but, hell, it's a tricky business. Knowing whether the new guy in your life likes having his balls tickled is one thing, but deciding when to 'unveil' the person you're sleeping with on social media is a whole other issue, and it'll probably go something a bit like this...
Facebook Friends
Gone are the days of 2007 when sending a Facebook friend request to someone you met once after putting away 12 bottles of WKD was kosher. Present day etiquette dictates that friend requests aren't to be chucked around carelessly – they're a big deal lest you end up being labelled a weirdo.
You'll start to broach the subject in a joke-but-you-actually-mean-it kind of way: ‘Oh no I didn't see it because we’re not friends on Facebook. Shall I send you a request? HahahahaAAAhah. Joking. Joke. That was a joke.'
The Tagged Pictures
So, after your dead-subtle hints, you’re Facebook friends. Naturally you'll get some absolute jokers who ‘like’ this – the virtual equivalent of a nudgenudgewinkwink.
Things are getting pretty serious (you don't become Facebook friends with simply anyone), you're going to some – caj, of course – events together, perhaps someone's taken a couple of pictures of you together (you're a good looking couple, after all). And now your mate has put them on Facebook. It's cool though, you didn't upload it, did you? You can't help it if someone's put a picture of two of you online, can you? It's a free country, right? NBD.
The Fear
There are pictures of you on the Internet. There is a 100% chance that people have seen said pictures of you both. Together. In one shot. And now, after numerous day trips, maybe even a weekend a way, who knows, you're thinking, 'Hey, I think I'd quite like to put that picture of us in front of the duck lake on Facebook'.
Simple enough, sure, but what comes next is the irrational thought process. Is it weird? (If you're in front of a duck lake: yes). Maybe it's too much? Why does my hair always look so shit?
Family Time
You did it. You went there. You put the picture up. The flood gates are well and truly opened. Unwittingly, you’ve invited your entire family – immediate and extended – to comment, like, comment again on any picture from now until the end of time and then call you to say they've seen said pictures because they're not sure you saw the comment, like and the second comment.
You've really done it now. You'd have thought you'd stopped world famine the way they're going on about it. There's no going back. You may as well get married otherwise you'll have to go through this whole thing again and, tbh, who has the time?
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.