Study Finds That Women Who Are Cheated On 'Win' In The Long Term
The Debrief: Because cheating is all about winning and losing, right? Right, guys?
The biggest ever study into break-ups has been conducted by researchers from American University, Binghamton and University College London. They surveyed 5,705 people in 96 countries and looked into how happy men and women were before, during and after a break-up.
One of their main finding was that if a woman is cheated on by a male, it leaves them with a ‘higher mating intelligence’. Meaning that despite the initial devastating impact of being cheated on, they believe it helps the victim to choose a more faithful next partner, thus having long-term benefits. They described this as being ‘evolutionarily adaptive’ because they'll make a better choice when it comes to their next relationship.
On the other hand, psychologists says that the ‘other woman’ will end up with a cheating partner, so she is the ‘long-term loser’, the Telegraph reports.
Lead researcher Dr Craig Morris said that women who have been cheated on are ‘more attuned to cues of infidelity, dishonesty, and other “low mate value” signals following having their mate 'poached' by another woman’ as well as being ‘more aware of their female friends and associates behaviour regarding their significant other’. As well as that they said that it may be beneficial in other areas of their life too like personal development. Which when you break it down, sounds a lot like ‘they become suspicious and insecure’ thanks to the hurt they suffered in their last relationship. It doesn’t sound much like being a ‘winner', if I'm honest. Also the idea of female ‘winners’ and ‘losers’? A classic and very unhelpful tactic of women being pitted against each other.
Of course, a lot of this is common sense: ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’, after all (apparently). But every relationship is so different and context is crucial. Not every woman who has been cheated on will 'bounce back' and be 'stronger than ever'; some may have long-standing trust and relationship issues that follow them through every relationship and not everyone 'learns' – often destructive patterns can be repeated.
Whilst it's interesting to note the findings, particularly from an evolutionary point of view, let's not forget the (again, hypothetical) unfaithful man in all this (which every seems to do; note the recent media storm around Beyonce and Jay-Z ) and his devastating actions. Focusing on the positives of being cheated on kind of diminishes what happened: rather than being held accountable. I resent the implication that women should almost be thankful to this hypothetical man for cheating on them.
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