Holy crap, you guys. Did you know that sometimes when people send sexts they're not always telling the truth? According to a new survey by Indiana University, nearly half of college students that took part admitted to telling a lie while sending a sext.
Shock. Horror.
Nice one, scientist guys. That's money well spent on figuring out exactly what we could have told you for free. Well, for a drink. We don't come cheap, you know.
Here's the lies you've (definitely) told while sexting:
'What am I wearing? Nothing. Nothing at all'
Ha! Yeah. Come on over and check out my grey (once white) T-shirt that's got pink hair dye stains on it and the tracksuit bottoms I used to wear for PE in Year 11. I look so good, they'll probably start selling this shit in Agent Provocateur soon.
'I’m SOOOOOO turned on right now'
I’ve just eaten a pot noodle, followed by a packet of crisps and finished it off with a scoop of ice cream straight out of the tub (bowls are for suckers). Sex couldn’t be further from my mind. If you’ve got any more food, though…?
'That’s really hot'
Actually, it was a little bit gross and possibly homophobic. Also, you misspelled ‘penile'.
'I really want your cock in my mouth'
Slightly over-egged it there. I wouldn’t mind per say, but I’m not going to go out of my way to achieve it IRL.
'OMG I look so gross. I don’t even have any make-up on!'
Low-lighting, a dash of brown mascara and the Valencia filter, working hard together since 2010 to make the impossible possible.
'It’s huge!'
Meh.
'I’m touching myself'
I’m balancing the phone in the crook of my neck so I can iPad surf ASOS with one hand and dive into a big bag of Maltesers with the other. Looks like I'm out of hands. Sorry, big guy.
'I had a dream about you'
Actually, I passed out around 11.30pm facedown after some ill-judged white wine spritzers. I woke up in the same position with no recollection of what had gone on for the last seven hours. So technically, I might have had a dream about you, I just couldn't tell you what happened.
'I won’t show anyone'
Ha. Ha. HA.
Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.