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Debrief Staff | Contributing Writer | Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Foolproof Ways To Ask Someone On A Date

Foolproof Ways To Ask Someone On A Date

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Illustration Marylou Faure

If you'd like to win one of four amazing, Impulsive prizes, head over to our #LiveLifeOnImpulse hub to find out how to enter! 

If you’ve spent the past few months making eyes at your colleague, and biting your nails on the tube home, seriously considering writing in to Rush Hour Crush. Or you’ve been chatting to an absolute dreamboat on Tinder whilst sat at your parents over Christmas but STILL don’t have a date in the diary, you’re not the only one! Asking someone out can be super daunting, but why not #LiveLifeOnImpluse and just do it? I’m a lover of Tinder, but I seldom do the asking, so I caught up with Love Guru and all round nice guy James Preece to get some tips! P.s. James, I promise I’ll start giving guys a second chance and not write them off because of their drink order or their lack of appreciation for Eurovision. 

Here are James’ Top Tips for first date success, as told by me, because I’m something of an expert now…

Asking Someone Out Online

James says you need to ‘get off the app ASAP!’ the longer you go back and forth with messages, the less likely you are to end up on an actual, real life date! He suggests you need to get on the phone (the actual speaking phone, not texting), have a ten-minute conversation, and then if they sound nice, arrange a date – it’s as easy as that! His top tip here – don’t text them in-between arranging the date and the date itself. 

What About Offline?

This one is trickier, because if you already know them, there’s more to lose! Asking out someone you know IRL should, according to James, definitely be done face-to-face.  If you work with the person, it could end up being super embarrassing so you should frame it a little more casually. Just ask them whether they’re up to anything at the weekend and if they want to hang out – if they say yes, they totally know it’s a date so it’s a success. If they say no, they probably know it’s a date, but you can make out to anyone else that it was just a friendly hang out request and that you actually think Netflix-and-Chill means Netflix-and-Chill. 

Dealing With Rejection

James says you need to remember that a lot of people will say no to you, and you need to not take it personally. It could be that they’re not in the same place as you right now romantically, maybe they just got out of a relationship, or it could be as simple as they’re looking for a brunette and you’re a blonde. The important thing is just to accept it and move on. The best way of doing this? James says you need to start talking to someone else and arrange a date with him or her – don’t waste too much time worrying about it! 

What To Do on a First Date

Let go of all of your teenage staples guys, Cinema and a Cheeky Nandos is out! James reckons that there’s too much pressure on dinner and cinema is off the cards because you actually need to chat to the person. He suggests coffee or drinks – somewhere quiet enough for you to have a conversation, plus if it’s really bad you can easily leave after one drink. When you’re actually on the date, just go with the flow and don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your date – remember that ‘there’s no such thing as a bad date, just a funny story!’

But I know what you’re really thinking: ‘is it socially acceptable/advisable for me to knock back a bottle of Prosecco and four shots of Tequila during the date?’ James says that you can absolutely have a couple of drinks – they’ll help you relax and build your confidence, but he advises against getting drunk. There’s nothing worse than waking up hung-over and realising you’ve done something you wouldn’t have done sober. 

How do I know if there should be a second date? 

This was my big question for James. I am a serial first dater and rubbish, RUBBISH with second dates. I always find a reason not to put one in (Mr. Preece says that it’s a self preservation thing, yikes), but should you give someone a second chance? James says that unless you hate them you absolutely should. You need to remember that nerves and excitement make it impossible for anyone to be 100% themselves on a first date, and if you think there’s any hope of the pair of you getting on, you should absolutely see them again.

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Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

The Politics Of Unveiling Your Significant Other On Social Media

Tinder In London Vs Tinder At Home

How To Stay Friends With Your Ex Without Looking Like A Desperate Loser

 

 

Tags: Dating