Proving there’s an app for every douchebag you could possibly want to be, there's now one that's been designed for ‘playas’ (spelling my own) who want to schedule a series of sweet texts to their girlfriend/mistress/bit of fluff, leaving them free to enjoy their LAD’s night/trip to a Nevada brothel/work outing to Thorpe Park in peace. BOOM!
The Bro App was released as an Android app on Sunday, costs £1.49 to download - and sales are apparently already soaring.
To quote the Australian developers Factorial Products Ltd: ‘BroApp is your clever relationship wingman. It automatically messages your girlfriend sweet things so you can spend more time with the Bros. Select your girlfriend's number, add some sweet messages, and set the time of day when you want those messages sent. BroApp takes care of the rest.’
BroApp also includes Girlfriend WiFi detector – so it won’t ever send texts from you [the boyfriend], when you’re already at your girlfriend’s place - along with Girlfriend Intrustion Detector, which ‘prevents inquisitive girlfriends from uncovering the BroApp secret’ (how? I have no idea…). And there's also Recent Contact Detector, which means Bro App won’t send messages if you’ve already sent a message to your girlfriend. Clever Bro App.
Obviously, BroApp is a ridiculous product, made by ridiculous people, for other ridiculous people – not least because it works on the assumption that it’s solely women who want constant contact with their partners – and that it’s (straight) men who dish this contact out reluctantly, because ‘anything for a quiet life,’ right?
But it’s also ridiculous because it hits a nerve. Some people (men and women) do want and expect constant contact, whether it’s texts, Whatsapp messages, Facebook or whatever. Which is strange in a way. Because in a world where it takes almost zero effort to make contact with someone, why have we put such a high price on it? You can be getting text messages from someone all evening, and feel like you’re getting 90 per cent of the attention – the reality is that you’re probably getting 10 per cent. You also have no idea who else is getting their attention at the same time. Incidentally, there’s no word yet on whether you can set BroApp up for multiple girlfriends…
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.