Aimee Jakes | Contributing Writer | Monday, 11 April 2016

22 Non Shit Quotes To Help You Get Over A Shitty Break Up

21 Non Shit Quotes To Help You Get Over A Shitty Break Up

The Debrief: Break up quotes to make feel a bit better about that shitty break up

According to a study, conducted by 'Information Is Beautiful', the most popular time for a relationship to disintegrate into a pile of nothingness is December (brutal) and March. The study doesn’t give a reason for the spikes on the graph for those two months, but my guess has something to do with not wanting to buy Christmas presents and planning a trip to Ibiza for this summer. Maybe the extra hours of sunlight and promise of ‘post-work drinkies’ in beer gardens goes to people’s head. But who am I to judge?

If you were one of those unlucky few (or lucky as you will be positively thinking in approx 2.5 minutes) then by now you've have had enough time to blub over your break up. You have unfollowed him on Twitter, listened to plenty of Adele and have eaten approx 57 jars of Tescos peanut butter with a spoon. 

And now the world is yours, my chicken. Open the blinds. Today marks your revolution. Tights and fancy war tunic are optional, though highly recommended.  Think ‘new year, new me’ vibes only without the bit where you have to give up bread. 

Here are some great non-shit motivational break-up quotes to make you feel a little better about the whole break up thing. Don't worry, there's not a ‘live, laugh, love’ in sight.

Break up quotes time (but only good ones, yeh?)


1) Stop crying into your Pinot Grigio 

‘Homer, lighten up. You’re making ‘Happy Hour’ bitterly ironic’ – Moe Szyslack

2) Get your priorities right

3)Calling B.S on society

'I think the big misconception in our society is that we're supposed to meet the one when we're 18, and we're supposed to get married to them and love them for the rest of our lives. Bullshit'. - Cameron Diaz 

4)Calling B.S on relationships full stop

 ‘Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then’  - Katharine Hepburn

5) Dancing > crying in your cat onesie

6) Channel your inner gladiator

‘You don’t get to run. You’re a gladiator. Gladiators don’t run. They fight. They slay dragons. They wipe of the blood and stich their wounds and they live to fight another day. You don’t get to run.’ - Olivia Pope, Scandal

7) At least you can starfish

 ‘One of the best things about being single is that you don't have to share your bed, you get it all to yourself. Although there is a lack of regular sex, at least you don't get pestered for it at all hours of the night, because that can be seriously annoying.’ - Lucy Watson

8) To make you feel better about getting up at 1pm

9) Don’t look out the god damn window

 ‘Just because there's a hurricane going on around you doesn't mean you have to open the window and look at it.’ - Taylor Swift 

10) At least he wasn’t Brad Pitt

 ‘If Jennifer Aniston can get over Brad Pitt, then you can get over that fuckboy in your life who clearly doesn’t deserve you’ 

11) It is your fault

 ‘It was tough love advice that someone gave me: They said, no breakup is about about the other person, it’s all about you. You made the decision to stay with a not-so-great person, you chose not to see the writing on the wall. The minute you own that, it empowers you to no longer play the victim.’ — Janet Bertolus

12) You are stronger than you think

‘Remember that person that you couldn’t live without? Well, look at you, living and shit.’

13) If the queen of heartbreak can do it… 

14) Someone better is on their way 

‘You are one heartbreak closer to being with the person you are meant to be with.’

15) No such thing as a waste of time

 ‘No relationship is ever a waste of your time. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you don't want.’

16) Who says crying is weak?

 ‘Some people say, ‘Never let them see you cry.’ I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.’

― Tina Fey

17) Think positively  

18) Advice to stick on your wall

‘Do your squats, eat your vegetables, wear red lipstick, don't let boys be mean to you.’ Kendall Jenner

19) Lena Dunham knows

‘It's interesting how we often can't see the ways in which we are being strong - like, you can't be aware of what you're doing that's tough and brave at the time that you're doing it because if you knew that it was brave, then you'd be scared.’

20) The best revenge

 ‘That’s the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life.’

—Chuck Pahlaniuk

21) And Finally

‘Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it! – Monica Geller. 

Like this? You might also be interested in:

Science* Says This Is The Perfect Time To Fart In A Relationship

1 In 10 Of Us Don't Think One-Night Stands Count As Cheating

Science Says Netflix Might Be Making You Unhappy

Follow Aimme on Twitter @aimeejakes

Tags: Love & Marriage, Relationships, Dating