Jess Commons | Deputy Editor | Tuesday, 9 June 2015

All The Things Women Will Never Understand About Men (And Vice Versa)

All The Things Women Will Never Understand About Men (And Vice Versa)

The Debrief: Reddit users weigh in on what the opposite sex just like, doesn't *get* about them

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus and blah blah whatever really? It’s 2015; are men and women still all that different from each other? Haven’t things like the internet, women’s rights and a greater acceptance of others narrowed the gap between the sexes once and for all?

Well, not if Reddit today is anything to go by. There are currently two AskReddit threads at war with each other – one asking men what women will never understand about them and one asking women what men will never get about them. Here’s some of the best of the best bits.

Men tell women what they don’t understand about being a man

1. This man, who needs some time alone

‘That I don’t need to spend 45 minutes taking a dump, I simply want to.’

2. This man, who knows penises are tough to control

‘Accidental Boners, or there are some times where despite aiming the stream gets divided and goes everywhere.’

3. This guy, who’s defending his right to grope down there

‘The need to reposition your balls while walking.’

4. This guy, who has a situation down there

‘When the hair gets stuck around ur dick.’

5. This guy who’s highlighted something we’ve never considered before

‘When your dong touches the toilet seat. Aka the witches kiss.’

6. This guy, who has tried really, really hard

‘That with the right angle and ruler placement, it’s really 8 inches.’

 7. This guy who defends his right to bash the bishop

‘Why guys will still masturbate no matter how good the sex is.’

8. This guy who’s not helping us answer the biggest question we have about men

‘The fact that I can make my dick move, but I can’t explain what I do to make it move.’

9. This guy, who’s got a bunch of flies buzzing around up there

‘When I say I’m thinking about nothing, I’m literally thinking about nothing.’

But, in the interest of fairness, here’s what girls had to say on the matter about what guys don’t get about them

1. This girl who nailed our greatest fear in one

‘The horror of feeling a sneeze coming on when you’re on your period.’

2. This girl, who knows the struggle is real

‘Gonna be a bit gross now, but it’s something I think few men will get: Pooping while menstruating. Hate it.’

 3. This girl who needs to be listened to

‘Casually mentioning that you’re having your period (sometimes it does come up in casual conversation) and getting disgusted looks and/or comments. most women have periods for the majority of their lives. chances are, you’re going to end up with a woman that is going to have a period once a month, every month, until she hits menopause. why in the name of god is mentioning that fact so fucking taboo? i will never understand.’

4. This girl who knows what’s up – ESPECIALLY if you say you’re on your period too

‘Having your emotions belittled because “women JUST ARE emotional and dramatic”.’

5. This girl, who is probably our spirit animal

‘Pooping and farting are just as enjoyable for us as they are for you.’

6. This girl who said what everyone else was too scared to say

‘Trying to bury your bass into the couch to muffle a fart, only for the air bubble to get stuck between your labia.’

7. This girl who’s got a whole thing going on down there

‘Moisture in your pants. I think it’s why so many women hate the word “moist”. Hmm, I think it’s a little damp in my drawers. Is it sweat? Did my period come early? Am I turned on? Am I ovulating? Did I wet myself a little? WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY PANTS?!’

Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

Polly Vernon: ‘Being Fancied and Fancying People Is One Of The Purest Pleasures I Know

The Book On Being Single From 1899 Is Awesome

You Order People Like A Chinese Takeaway. How Tinder’s Changed Our Lives

Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

Picture: Lukasz Wierzbowski