Stevie Martin | Staff Writer | Tuesday, 24 March 2015

You\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'re Probably Not The Star Sign You Think You Are - Here\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Our Guide To Figure Out The Right One

You're Probably Not The Star Sign You Think You Are - Here's Our Guide To Figure Out The Right One

The Debrief: There's a new star sign, and 86% of people are living under the wrong sign. Don't panic, just read our handy guide to what you REALLY are.

OK, so the star signs were fixed 2,000 years ago, and correspond to the way the constellations appeared behind the sun on the day you popped out of your mum. Over time, though, the constellations have drifted – which means that over 80% of people were born under signs that no longer correspond to their true astrological sign.

So you might not be a Taurus, because the stars have drifted and so you’re actually an Aries! Or any other example using two of the signs that are next to each other!

Also there’s a new constellation, called Ophiuchus, which was deliberately left out of the original zodiac for a mysterious reasons that may or may nor be because the astrologers wanted their charts to look prettier.

If you’re an Ophiuchus, or the 13th sign, then you’re destined for great things; you’re likely to build things both metaphorically and physically (hello,budding architects) and you’ll be very intuitive with secret enemies. Oh, and it’s the serpent holder, so you’ll probably hold lots of snakes? Who knows. 

Anyway, behold your new star sign – is it anything like you? Do you give a shit? I don’t, but then discovered I’m an Aries and it’s blown my mind because I identify, like, sooo much more with a ram than a bull, amiright? 

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