Jess Commons | Deputy Editor | Monday, 14 March 2016

Women Share Their Experiences Of Being The \'Less Attractive\' Friend

Women Share Their Experiences Of Being The 'Less Attractive' Friend

The Debrief: Ever feel like a big old poo next to your more attractive friends? Here's how to deal

We've all got that mate who is tall and pretty with legs for days and hair shinier than the sun.

Going out with that mate is a nightmare; everywhere she goes, people stare like they've never seen a real life human lady before and find all sorts of excuses to come and talk to her. You on the other hand? Well, standing next to her you might as well be a fat, dirty sloth baby with greasy fur and the personality of a poo.

Or so you think.

Realistically, at least half of that is your own insecurities, sure there's probably a lot of people that do think she's all that, but there's also definitely people out there who are digging your vibes too.

Anyways - over on Reddit, one girl, who had her first experience of going out to bars, was feeling insecure about herself in this way after her two friends got a lot more attention than her, 'I was having a lot of fun with my friends until I realized that guys kept coming up and asking them to dance, but not me.' User Love_Emory says. 'It happened to my one friend every 5-10 minutes, but I didn't get asked to dance all night. I don't think I base my confidence or self-esteem on what others think of me (and I definitely don't want to), but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit hurt by it.'

Other women have chimed in with help and advice, Oh_itsErin says that with her 'cooler' friends she feels similar to Love_Emory but, when she hangs out with her 'nerdy' friends she doesn't feel as interesting; proof that personal insecurities will always get the better of us - no matter what the situation.

User Weinersnizzle found being the 'ugly' (her words) friend so tough she doesn't go out anymore. 'I drink at home and friends houses but never go out. Yes, I am the ugly friend but it doesn't keep me from being happy.' User Pencilears reckons that the 'ugly friend' has an 'important and undervalued job' to help the other friends cock block jerks. She also says that even the 'prettiest, best-dressed girl in (her) art school, her home friends were literally models. They made her feel like a hobbit.'

A_caidan_abroad likes  to turn the issue on it's head; 'I am not my appearance. I have done things to shape my mind. I speak more languages than most of my friends, paint bettern that most of them, have a couple of degress; I may not be the prettiest girl but I have other things going for me.'

And it's not just straight women that can be affected by the ugly friend thing 'The saddest thing is I'm gay and I still feel the same way you do' Says user Ashizzzle. 'I don't desire or want the male attention but it's hard not to feel unattractive when you're in a public setting where people ususally hook up based on looks.' But it's Littlewoolie who chimes in with the most important point; 'The people asking your friends to dance aren't looking for long-term keepers, they're looking for a good time for one night.' She continues, 'You don't want to be stuck with a drunk guy hanging off your arm anyway!'

Truer words were never spoken.

Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

Money And Friendship Get Even More Complicated In Your Late 20s

In Defence Of Not Always Putting Your Mates First

In Which We Dissect How Your Female Friendship Will Change In Your Late 20s

Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

 

 

Tags: Relationships, Friend Ranting And Raving