Sophie Wilkinson | Contributing Editor | Friday, 15 May 2015

Thousands Of Northerners Sign Petition To Become Part Of Scotland

Thousands Of Northerners Sign Petition To Become Part Of Scotland

The Debrief: They agree they have more in common with Scotland that with ‘London-centric south’…

Thousands of northerners, jealous that Scotland’s now got the SNP pushing for some sort of independence for them in Parliament, have signed a petition calling for a vast swathe of the north to become part of Scotland.

Cities ideally absorbed by Scotland through this border-shift would include Middlesborough, Newcastle, Durham, Blackpool, Leeds, Sheffield, Liverpool, Preston, Leeds, Manchester, Salford and Hull.

Why’s this? Because a lot of people in the north feel way too disconnected from the politicians in London making decisions for them. ‘The deliberations in Westminster are becoming increasingly irrelevant to the north of England,’ the petition reads: ‘The northern cities feel far greater affinity with their Scottish counterparts, such as Glasgow and Edinburgh, than with the ideologies of the London-centric south.’

The creator of the petition, who suggested the pretty boring #TakesUsWithYouScotland (#BeamMeUpScotty would’ve been a bit catchier, we think), added that, ‘The needs and challenges of the north cannot be understand by the endless parade of Old Etonions [sic] lining the frontbenches of the House of Commons.

‘We, the people of the north, demand that in the event that Scotland becomes independent, the border between England and the New Scotland be drawn along a line that runs between the River Dee and the mouth of The Humber (see map).’

One commenter on the petition, which has over 25,000 signatures, said all problems could be solved if: ‘We dig a big trench around London and push it out to sea with a long stick. It can be a horrible little tax retreat for the ultra-rich and we can get back to having a proper country.’

Hmm. That might be a bridge too far.

Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson

Tags: Politics, Going viral