This New Method Of Revenge Shows Us The Real Meaning Of Glitter
The Debrief: But does it really, truly work?
Sarah Harding of Girls Aloud has a tattoo on her back saying ‘Don’t be bitter, glitter’, and we really love the permanent message. But that’s not the only example of glitter not going away anytime soon. Because, well, if you’ve ever come into contact with it, you’ll know that you might find it in the most unusual places for days afters but the reality of glitter is that it’s not actually that fun – weeks after coming into contact with it you’ll find it in your ears, your socks, your bra, under your boobs, in your bellybutton, in a jacket you didn’t even wear the night you got smothered in glitter…just, like, everywhere.
That’s why some bright spark has made the brilliant frenemy-destroyer; a service where you can send an enemy a load of glitter they’ll spend years getting out of their clothes, bodily creases and upholstery.
As ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com puts it: ‘We fucking hate glitter. People call it the herpes of the craft world. What we hate more though are the soulless people who get their jollies off by sending glitter in envelopes.’
‘We've had enough so here's the deal: there's someone in your life right now who you fucking hate. Whether it be your shitty neighbour, a family member or that bitch Amy down the road who thinks it's cool to invite you to High Tea but not provide any weed.’
Here’s their solution to both problems: ‘Pay us money, provide an address anywhere in the world & we'll send them so much glitter in an envelope that they'll be finding that shit everywhere for weeks. We'll also include a note telling the person exactly why they're receiving this terrible gift. Hint: the glitter will be mixed in with the note thus increasing maximum spillage.’
And under their FAQ, they’ve answered the ‘is this for real?’ question with this sparkling gem: ‘Yes, you fucking idiot. We spent too much time, money & resources putting this shit hole of a website up to not get paid for it. ‘
It costs $9.99 to send the glitter to ANYWHERE in the world, all you have to do is enter the recipient’s name and address. Upon payment, ‘after we receive the payment & spend the profit on cheap booze we'll get shit ready & have the mail sent to the person you hate.’
However, we tried to send some to Nigel Farage (his office’s address is really easily Google-able) but as soon as we tried, the linked page was not found. Maybe way too many people are trying to buy glitter so breaking the system, or the site is as wildly impossible as it seems…
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