Jess Commons | Deputy Editor | Wednesday, 12 August 2015

The Definitive Debrief Guide To The Best Crisps Of All Time

The Definitive Debrief Guide To The Best Crisps Of All Time

The Debrief: This list is final, there will be no debate

Being British, crisps are probably a big part of your life. Mainly because it's a food item that we do really well as a nation, but also because they're  super delicious.

Debates about which crisps are best can go on for hours. And, in fact, there's this very debate going on over on Reddit right now. Which started one going in The Debrief office. Which then turned into what your favourite crisp says about you. Here are our very unofficial findings...

(see below for the ultimate list of the 10 best crisps on offer)

Sea Salt With Crushed Black Peppercorns Kettle Chips

Who are you? Do you even like crisps or do you just eat crisps because everyone else does? Kettle Chips are sharp and pointy on the mouth of anyone that eats an actually substantial amount of crisps and therefore are reserved solely for those kinds of people who will eat one or two at a picnic and then sit back and carry on with their conversation, not realising that everyone else is just staring at the food and trying to hold back from falling face down on the food and going hogwild on the coleslaw (apparently that's not correct 'decorum'). You are definitely the kind of person that can actually just have one glass of wine to unwind in the evening before popping a cork back in the top of the bottle and thinking nothing more of it. TEACH US YOUR WAYS.

Pickled Onion Monster Munch (Grab Bag)

You literally give no fucks. In the best way possible. Not only have you honed in on what's probably the most artifical crisp in the entire world (there's definitely more MSG than potato in Monster Munch), you are also are quite happy to eat what is possibly the most offensive-to-the-nostrils crisp that has ever existed (save for scampi n' lemon Nik Naks). You madam, are an inspiration to us all. Just know that the next time you open a pack in public, even though others might shoot you glances of disgust, inside they're just cursing themselves for not having the same courageous nature as you.

Salt & Vinegar McCoy’s

You are probably the most well-rounded person any of your friends know. Not only do you appreciate what is perhaps the finest artificial flavour to ever be created in potato snack history, you also have chosen a crisp manufacturer who understands perfect portion sizes. McCoy's bags are big enough on their own without calling themselves 'grab bags' (way to lay the guilt on thick crisp makers) and they LAUGH in the face of pathetically sized packaging from Hula Hoops and Walkers, which hold precisely three crisps each. Plus, the ridges hold flavour magnificently. You my friend, are winner.

Worcester Sauce Walkers

Kind of a wild card you aren't you? Not afraid to be a bit zany, you're what your friends would describe as a 'kook'. You're comfortable enough with yourself to stand apart from the crowd but you're kind of a trailblazer too. It's like the time you wore a scrunchie again three years ago and everyone was like, 'Woah, I can't believe you're wearing a scrunchie' and now everyone's like 'Woah, I can't believe everyone else isn't wearing a scrunchie'. You. I'm into you. Well done on being an individual.

Doritos Cool Original  

True Doritos Cool Original fans were eating these crisps way back in the day when most British people knew only about Walkers crisps so we're guessing you're kind of an international connoisseur. Mainly of American culture. You can almost definitely smell a fabulous hot dog from 100 yards away, you know the rules to American football and are probably best friends with The Obamas and/or Jay-Z and Beyonce. Bet you cook a slap-up Turkey on Thanksgiving Day too.

And now, because you were curious...

The Definitive List Of The Best Crisps Britain Has To Offer

This isn't up for debate. I mean everyone's entitled to their opinion but like, if yours is different, you're wrong.

  1. Salt & vinegar Chipsticks
  2. Salt & vinegar Discos
  3. Ready salted Hula Hoops
  4. Cheese & onion Walkers
  5. Salt & vinegar McCoy's
  6. Skips (grab bag)
  7. Chilli heatwave Doritos
  8. Bacon Frazzles
  9. Prawn Cocktail Walkers
  10. Wotsits (really cheesy)

Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

Cheese Posties and Other Incredibly Inconvenient Convenience Foods

Calling Bullshit On Avocados

Reasons Why Coriander Is The Spawn Of Satan (The Struggle Is Real)

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