Stuff You Used To Do At School Because You Thought You Were Cool
The Debrief: Stuff you still cringe about when you close your eyes at night now
Last week on Reddit, this post popped up about all the stupid stuff you used to do at school that you thought made you look really cool. It’s pretty much the best thread ever. The things people have admitted to doing ranges from being that dick that chucked pencils point-up at the Styrofoam ceiling to drawing pen marks on themselves so people thought they’d got in a 'flirty pen fight' with members of the opposite sex.
Then there were the more extreme cases; like the kid who spent the year getting sunburnt because the popular boy once looked at him when he had a sunburn to the guy that intentially got a boner in PE class because he thought it looked ‘cool.’ Ergh.
Anyways, here’s a few things we used to do that we’re going to admit to just to make you feel better about yourself. We’re nice like that.
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Cutting the waistband off our jeans so our thong hung out
I mean this totally depended on the high-school tribe you were in but if you fell somewhere in the cropped bomber jacket-wearing, Ja Rule-listening, J-Lo-obsessing tribe (hello), then please to join us in remembering the freezing cold wind hitting your lower back while your newly doctored bootcut jeans slid further and further down your arse while your cheap n’ tacky Anne Summers glittery thong slid further and further up your bum crack. Sexy didn’t even begin to cover it.
Learning all the lyrics to Coolio Gangsta’s Paradise
The vintage hip-hop song of choice for white middle-class mid-noughties teenagers Gangsta’s Paradise was on every mix CD we ever made and our choice of top tune to put on every time we got a go on the pre-iPod MP3 player at a party. The bit we didn't make visible to the public though, were the hours spent rehearsing the lyrics in our bedroom mirror so we could do the whole rap in public without fucking up. The. Shame.
Playing bloody knuckles with the boys
You know what was cool when you were a teenager? Being one of ‘the lads’ that’s what. So you had a crack at football in the park, squealing like Miss Piggy every time the muddy ball came anywhere near you. More stupid? Joining in with bloody knuckles (other names apply depending on which school you went to) but getting fully-grown man boys to fire 50p pieces as your delicate girl hands in a bid to look cool? Painful and scarring.
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The slut drop
OH MY GOD WHY WAS THIS DANCE MOVE ALLOWED AT SCHOOL DISCOS? First seen on MTV Base done by everyone from Ashanti to the members of Mysteeq to Christina Milian, the slut drop (horrible name) was rife on gym floors at discos across the noughties. Extra points if you had the stamina to stay low to the ground and bounce around a little bit before you snapped your skinny teenage bum back up with all the sass a twerking child could muster. The teachers must have been horrified.
Doctoring your school uniform
From making your tie really teeny tiny (why?) to rolling up your already vagina-short school skirt to unbuttoning your shirt to near-pornographic levels, the school uniform was potentially more distracting than if you'd been allowed to wear your own clothes. The ultimate in cool? When a teacher asked you to adjust your outfit to fit with in with school rules and you did, all the while rolling your eyes like you'd just been dished out the ultimate in injust punishments. God, teachers. What losers.
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